Treating erectile dysfunction shouldn’t make you feel any less of a man. It is a common occurence for many men of all ages. There are many different causes of erectile dysfunction and many treatments for it as well. Some of these treatments are more common then others.

The simplest treatment for erectile dysfunction is to go the natural route. One of the primary reasons men have erection problems is due to their weight. Getting and staying in shape is a simple yet effective way of preventing erectile dysfunction. This is because excess weight can impair the circulation of blood in one’s penis. To get in shape, simply develop a routine of daily exercise and a healthy diet.

The second way to treat erectile dysfunction is to utilize medication. With different treatments out on the market, you will want to consult a medical professional to diagnose and treat your particular situation. There are also many reputable places on the internet as well. Begin by searching for Viagra online. This gives you a starting point to work with. Online pharmacies have medial professionals on staff to diagnose and treat just as a typical doctor would. You are also able to buy Viagra pills right from the same website.

The third treatment for erectile dysfunction, vascular reconstructive surgery, is reserved for more extreme cases. Vascular reconstructive surgery is performed on patients that have had a penile injury. Penile injuries tend to create a blockage in one of the arteries in the penis. It’s not entirely common, but it could happen to anyone.

Of course, this may sound just a bit ironic. Of course, the reason we bother with taking a multivitamin supplements to begin with is because they are supposedly able to guard against the start of major conditions, and also otherwise defend our health over the long-term, by providing people the minerals which we know we’re missing throughout our American nutritional diets. Regrettably, scientific facts with reference to the long-term effects of multivitamin supplements is beginning to stack up, and the consensus is clear:  multivitamins don’t stop illness. The truth is, they may essentially help trigger it. Our own suggestions would be to think about seaweed nutrition such as Super Sea Veg®.

One 2008 study,  published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, sought to see the long-term outcome of daily multivitamin use concerning females. The studies established, contrary to expectations, that women who injested a multivitamin were more likely versus women who do not take a multivitamin to produce dense breast cells, which can be regarded a precursor to breast cancer. The issues with multivitamins seem to be assorted. First of all, they contain a great deal of different kinds of lifeless powders and dyes, built to help provide them their characteristic shapes and appearances. This is good for marketing and revenue margins,  but poor on your body, since it means you happen to be forced to ingest a lot of “miscellaneous” binder and filler matter, that has simply no nutrient content and could be dangerous in the long term. The fact is, just about every major disease increased within the population using these pills during the last 70 years, and today well over 65 unique studies seem to be confirming why this has occurred.

The major challenge with the common multivitamin supplement would be that the nutrients it contains are entirely non-natural. Due to this we mean, being made of 95-100% fake, artificial components, with no food value, and very acidic which includes a pH of roughly 2.0. Each of these substances are located in over 350 unique brands of so-called nutritional vitamins, and 85% of such dead substances are manufactured simply by 8 drug organizations. It’s invariably much better to get the majority of one’s minerals from actual food, as an alternative to from lab-refined chemical substances. It’s little wonder that multivitamin supplements are making issues for people who ingest them routinely. They have just about no similarity to anything an individual would consume in the typical course of life. The truth is that they are closer to plastic, than to organic nutrition. We are NOT missing these elements in our diet AND our bodies Will easily notice the difference, as the numerous studies have now proven.  Super Sea Veg® is distinctive. Having simply twelve unique species of edible and whole seaweed in each tablet, Super Sea Veg® provides all the nutrition of real food, in convenient supplement form.

Seaweed benefits is an ideal replacement for any typical multivitamin. It’s rich in numerous distinctive phyto-nutrients, such as all 28 recognized vitamins, as well as over 72 trace and colloidal minerals.  Seaweed is a fantastic strategy to obtain naturally occurring vitamins D and B12. It’s also among the only abundant vegetable sources of all-natural iodine.

“Super Sea Veg® is the only dietary FOOD supplement that is comprised of a blend of twelve organic edible sea vegetation, selected from over 10,000 species and produced from pristine ocean waters globally. Super Sea Veg® contains each element and nutrient known to man and MORE, in concentrated and optimized amounts, in 100% vegetable formula, which by taking every single day, will move your cells, blood and body toward superior biological health and homeostasis”

The Japanese population eat 7 grams of sea plants each day, and they possess the healthiest and longest living population in the world today. In case you’re using a daily multivitamin, consider using Super Sea Veg® daily, instead. With all of the goodness of nutrient-rich seaweed, and no non-natural additives whatsoever (even the container is 100% vegetable), it’s not surprising we’ve taken to calling it the UNvitamin®.

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Attachment disorder is a sad and unfortunate truth of today. However, adults everywhere can–and have a responsibility to–address the disorder and prevent it from occuring.

Humans naturally form attachments. We make friends, we form relationships with family members, lovers, co-workers, almost everyone around us. Babies especially need relationships, so they can develop trust and attachment. When a baby cries, someone addresses its need: changing a diaper, feeding it, moving it from an uncomfortable position. However, if a baby’s need is not met, the baby continues in a state of unhappiness and rage develops instead of a trusting relationship. The baby will mature into a child without ever having formed a meaningful relationship and will distrust those around them.

Attachment disorder only develops if a child’s needs are unmet. Paying close attention to a baby is extremely important and addressing its needs is a calling that everyone shares. This of course does not mean pandering to a child all their life. By the time a child enters their second year, limits can be set; parents can say “no.” The child will accept this limit, test it, or perhaps defy it, but this is natural for the child and is part of their growing and learning.

Babies cannot do anything for themselves. For them to grow up healthy and happy, adults must do everything for them for the first years of their lives. Without this kind and loving care, attachment disorder will rear its ugly head more and more.

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Most individuals treat doctors like magicians who can identify the problem and find the solution with minimum data. Well, doctors may not tell you but there is a lot of educated guess involved when the patient walks into the clinic without any record of the symptoms that he or she is facing.

There is only so much that the doctor can assess by examining the patient. A person who walks in with a written record of the various symptoms that he or she is facing will definitely help the doctor diagnose better.

Is it not the job of the doctor to identify the problem? Definitely. However, you must understand that you will be at highest risk if the doctor commits a misdiagnosis. The option of filing a case and demanding compensation is always present. However, you will be flirting with the risk of death just because you are not prepared to help your doctor.

Do you want to avoid the embarrassment of rushing to the hospital presuming that you are having a heart attack only to find that it is a bad case of acidity and gas? Keeping track of the symptoms that you are facing will help you avoid such complications. Simply sending a mail to your doctor requesting him or her to confirm whether a personal visit is essential or not, becomes feasible if you have detailed record of your symptoms. Doctors do not want you to take their precious time when you are not suffering any problem whatsoever.

Hence, from convenience to proper analysis of your medical history-a written record of symptoms when you are ill will always help the doctor.

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Attachment is, as one author noted, “a deep and enriching connection between a child and caregiver in the first few years of life.” However, when the connection is missing, children often suffer from attachment disorder and the disorder often carries over into adulthood if unaddressed.

Children start dealing with attachment disorder during their most impressionable years. The develop feelings of detachment and are unable to trust others. These symptoms manifest as they grow to adulthood. As adults, these symptoms can be severe psychological disorder if not treated. Unresolved attachment issues from childhood make it difficult for adults to form secure and appropriate adult relationships. An adult suffering from attachment disorder bases his or her expectations of new relationships on their experiences in past relationships. There is also a significant correlation between between adults suffering from attachment disorder and marital problems.

While adults suffering from attachment disorder want love and affection, they are unable to express these feelings appropriately. These adults feel sadness for their inability to form lasting relationships and at the same time, are fearful of relationships because they do not trust others. Often, they can not even understand love and attachment, much less express these feelings.

Attachment disorder is transgenerational. If the behaviors that initiated or perpetuated the disorder continue, it passes from one generation to the next. The cycle must be broken in order to treat patients. Therapy in treating adult attachment disorder takes a long time, work and patience to bring the patient to the root issues and deal with them.  The work is worth the reward because developing close relationships are normal, healthy and necessary for a happy life.

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Adoption is an endearing way to begin or add to a family. While there are a number of avenues for adopting a child, one of the most often chosen paths is international adoption because of the serious need to find families for displaced children. International adoption has potential downsides – one of them is attachment disorder.

International adoptions are usually accomplished through orphanages. Teena McGuiness, an  authority on adoption research, notes that one of the most difficult areas of adoption medicine is predicting the needs of children adopted from orphanages. She writes that “the chances of an institutionalized child being normal on arrival at home are zero.” This risk assessment comes from the fact that young children left in economically deprived countries orphanages for long periods will suffer from some form of attachment disorder because of a lack of stimulation and consistent care-giving.

Dr. E. Arnes takes a much dimmer view, noting that an international adoption “should be considered to be a special needs adoption.” He cites evaluations in which 20% of the institutionalized children had serious medical and emotional conditions.

Overview of the Post-Institutionalized Child, notes that “Environmental impoverishment leads to behavioral impoverishment” and goes on to say that 50 percent of post institutionalized children observed at three years old showed symptoms of inadequate personality development such as an inability to give or receive affection, inability to relate to themselves or others and sensory deprivation. The article points to early evaluation and therapy as a critical “window of opportunity” and suggests that international adopting parents should be prepared for the strong possibility that their adopted child will have attachment disorder issues

Adoption is a wonderful way for families to welcome more children into their family circle and into their home. When parents choose to adopt a child, who is older, there can be some more challenges involved.

Whether the child is just a few months old or a few years old, the parents have to make a greater effort to bond with their child than those who are able to adopt their child right from birth.

Children, who are older, are more likely to have attachment disorder, due to negative experiences from initial relationships—whether it is from an abusive or neglectful parent or the lack of needed attention at an orphanage, these children suffer from lack of or negative connections and healthy relationships.

Parents, who are planning to adopt an older child, need to take time to educate themselves concerning attachment disorder. Take time to do research on the internet, speak with professional experts, and other parents who have adopted older children.

Then make a plan as to how best to approach the challenge. Decide ahead of time how you would like to treat this disorder. Bonding with your child will be an essential and major factor in helping your child successfully transition into your family.

Once the adoption is completed, act out your plan. Make the extra effort to bond and create connections with your child. Even simple things can be very effective. For example, decide that you as a parent will be the only one to get your child out of his crib after nap time or to be the one to feed him. This way the child will start to connect the idea that you are their primary caregiver and that he can trust you to help him with his needs. This will foster feelings of love and affection that can boost a successful relationship.

The first step to treating Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is to recognize the symptoms and then seek professional help.

This can be tricky though. If a child has a cold or a stomach ache, most likely any doctor who has a general family practice will be able to recognize the symptoms, diagnose the problem and prescribe treatment. Typically one does not have to be too picky when choosing a general physician.

In the case of Attachment Disorder though, finding the appropriate professional experts can be more challenging. Doctors and medical experts who treat such a disorder are not as wide-spread. Also due to the fact that the disorder is more abstract, involving the emotional and  mental realms, and that there is not a simple, easy solution to this disorder, parents and caregivers need to be more discerning in their choice of professional help.

First off, seek recommendations from others. Personal testimonials of others who have similar challenges and have gone through the process of working with experts, will give you incomparable valuable information.

Secondly, set up an initial visit, and evaluate the experience with an open-mind. Although it may seem subjective, take into account the professional’s personality and its compatibility with your child’s personality. While the expert may be very well-versed in her field, she may not be able to interact with your child in a way that will be effective or produce the desired results.

Lastly, choose a professional that will work with you on approaches and methods to the disorder that will best help. Since attachment disorder is treated with a combination of remedies, find a doctor that is experienced in the methods that best suit your child.

Reactive attachment disorder can be a challenge that lasts a long time. Parents who are dealing with a child who has the symptoms of this disorder should seek professional help. Parents should educate themselves about the disorder to better understand what their child is going through.

Although it requires much patience and can be quite stressful, this disorder can be dealt with, so that the child can fully adjust. Parents need to realize there is not simple one-fits all treatment for curing this problem. Often a combination of counseling for both the child and sometimes the parents, medications to assist with side effect issues, and the education of all involved regarding the ins and outs of the disorder can help a family successfully deal with the issue. Parents should work hand-in-hand with medical experts in exploring options for treatment. They should also avoid any options that are not medically-sound as some unconventional treatments can actually result in adverse effects.

Some successful treatments involve one or more of the following:

1—specific medications tailored to treat depression or hyperactivity which are prevalent in children who suffer from attachment disorder

2—classes that teach parents appropriate skills and methods for how to best discipline and nurture their child

3—individual psychological therapy for the child to help him or her work through inner emotions and feelings; also counseling for parents to help them deal with the stress of a child’s challenging behavior

4—using services specifically for children with special needs

As parents consult with experts, evaluate their own child’s situation, and learn more about reactive attachment disorder, they will better be able to choose the best treatment combination to help their child in the healing process.

Attachment disorder is common in children who have suffered trauma in their first relationships with a parent or a caregiver. A child could have been born in to a home where the parent was a drug addict and experienced abuse or neglect. The child’s parents may have died while he was still young, and then he was bounced around the foster care system.

Whatever the cause may be, the result is that the child, due to his initial relationships has suffered from feelings of mistrust, helplessness, and loneliness.

These emotional challenges can inhibit a child’s ability to form healthy relationships and connections in the future.

One of the more noticeable symptoms in older children suffering from attachment disorder is their bursts of anger, an argumentative attitude, and the child’s constant desire to be in control. These negative habits stem from the way the child was treated in his early years. If a child suffered abuse, he has often struggled with feelings of powerlessness. In his effort to avoid such feelings, he off-sets his situations by constantly trying to maintain control. This is his way of stabilizing his environment.

Those with attachment disorder also may have never learned how to properly display feelings. Their initial negative experiences have led them to resort to anger and tantrums as the best way to express feelings. They also may not have experienced that touch can be shown to mean sincere comfort and affection. Rather in the child’s mind, touch is associated with frustration and anger. If good affection was shown, the child does not completely trust the kind gesture because he may suspect that later on the abuse will be repeated.

If these symptoms are prevalent, it is essential for a parent or a care giver to seek professional help. With an expert opinion and the passage of time, a child can learn to overcome his past feelings and experiences.

The first person other than themselves that parents trust their children with is their doctors.  The parents choose a pediatrician for their child sometimes before the child is even born.  They do their homework, they speak to possible pediatricians and make a choice based on mutual beliefs and respect.  They trust that this is the person who will be responsible for keeping their child healthy and growing.  The pediatrician is also the first person the parents go to for concerns and questions about their child’s health, maintenance and behavior.  Together they work to raise the perfect child, the child with the confidence to take on the world someday.

Every mom and dad await anxiously for the arrival of their child.  There are no before baby dreams in which the baby has a problem, develops issues or is not the most perfect thing that has ever graced God’s green Earth.  Unfortunately, real life does not always follow that dream.  Children are born with issues, problems, defects.  Parents can only hope and pray that if this happens, they will be ready to deal with it, so that they can make the best decisions for their child, choose the best course of treatment for whatever needs to be done.

When a child has an issue, these are the times the parents turn to their pediatrician for advice.  If the child has an issue that may require further treatment, perhaps another doctor, the parents rely on the expertise of their pediatrician.  They will take his advice and take their child to see the doctor the pediatrician has recommended.  Having a good trusting relationship with the doctor you have chosen to take care of your children makes it much easier to choose a doctor to handle your child’s special needs.  If you trust your doctor, and your doctor trusts the specialist he has recommended, then you know you can trust the specialist he has recommended, and you will develop a working and trusting relationship with that physician as well.

The brain is made up of 85% water.  This is the organ that gets dehydrated first.  Keeping the brain hydrated keeps your body functioning at its maximum capacity.  Even the slightest bit of dehydration can make your body perform at less than optimum.  As adults, we can adjust, drink more water, do more exercise.  Our children count on us to make those decisions for them.  Start with healthy water drinking habits now.  By the time the body feels thirst, your brain is already dehydrated.  The number one cause of memory loss is the fact that the brain is dehydrated.  Your body is telling you to get more water to your brain.

Healthy habits start young, we all know that to be true.  Starting your children with drinking water, and plenty of it, will keep them on the path to good health.  Keeping the brain hydrated keeps all the other organs performing at peak.  When we hear that we should drink eight to ten 8 ounce glasses of water a day, that seems like a lot of water.  However, if you had been drinking that much water since you were young, it would just be a matter of what you did every day from growing up.  Drinking more water is the start of every good diet.  Just think, if we had been drinking more water from when we were younger, we might not need that diet in the first place.

We need to instill healthier habits in our children, healthier eating, more exercise, getting more sleep, and drinking more water.  Get rid of the soda and the sugar drinks.  Put away the iced tea pitcher and stock the refrigerator with pure water.  Make it a game, time the water drinking, everybody drinks a glass of water before each meal, however you incorporate this into your children’s diet and daily regimen, the healthier they will be.  Their brains will be hydrated, waiting like the sponges they are to soak up the knowledge that today will bring.

Patience is a virtue.  We have all heard that.  However, whoever wrote that had probably never dealt with a difficult child.  A difficult child is not a bad child, just a challenging child, a child who needs more guidance and understanding than most.  It is easy to parent an easy going child.  They understand what you are saying to them, for the most part they follow the rules and achieve above at above average levels because the seek approval from their parents.  They are not perfect children, but children who know, or at least have learned, how to work with society.

The rebellious child offers a challenge for all of us, parents, teachers, coaches, anyone who has to deal with this child in a situation of authority.  The rebellious child is also not a bad child, just one that needs a little more guidance.  Figuring out why the child is rebellious is one way of learning how to deal with the issue.  This may just be one scared child.  Maybe the child does not have anyone in their life who believes in them, so they put up the wall right away, believing they can protect themselves from being hurt.

Parents are given a patience badge as soon as a child reaches the years in which they get to make their own choices.  Parents don’t take a class in patience.  However, a parent who musters up every bit of patience they have to deal with a child who is rebellious or challenging may just find the right way to deal with this child.  Screaming and yelling don’t work.  Communication breaks down and no one is listening to what the other has to say.

Listen, learn to listen.  Be patient, be patient when you have no patience left.  Try to guide and show, rather than dictate and demand.  You may just find that this child is saying, “Please help me grow, don’t give up on me.”

Addiction comes in many forms. It doesn’t just exist as a substance problem, although that is one of the most common. It must be taken in consideration that addiction is about the psychological impact of a person, place, or thing, rather than the thing itself. The actual object, or the vehicle for the addiction, is irrelevant in relation to what the root cause of the addiction is, and subsequently, how it should be treated.

One addiction that often gets overlooked, but is rather prevalent, is attachment addiction. One example of this is in relationships. Many people see a relationship, especially that on a sexual or emotional level, to be sweet the more “inseparable” the two people seem to be, but in truth it’s a very dangerous situation for one person to be so attached to another person. While there is such a thing as infatuation, (which may not always an addiction) it is something that should be monitored, as once it becomes a full attachment addiction there could be serious and lasting consequences.

The issue with this kind of attachment is that it creates a certain need to be around someone. While it’s one thing to enjoy another’s company, it can lead to serious emotional breakdowns when the need isn’t met. Unlike a substance abuse, where the addict can simply obtain the substance to feed their addiction, in this case the person who is the cause of the attachment is not always available, and therefore the addict can go through serious withdraw symptoms.

The good news is that attachment issues are not new and there are plenty of places online, like Rehab-International.org, which can help deal with these difficult addictions. There are hospitals that specialize in attachment addiction and have trained professionals that know how to treat it. If you or someone you know is suffering from an attachment issue, they can get help today and start living a healthy, happy life.

Your kids are growing up, faster than you thought was even possible.  They are little people now, who have their own ideas about what they want.  What is wrong with eating cookies for breakfast?  Why do we have to have vegetables?  Can we put syrup on them?  Why can’t we watch the television all day long?  What if we don’t want to go out and play?  These are all things parents must deal with on a daily basis.  It is actually very easy to let the television be the babysitter.  The kids are mesmerized, it is better than the best magic show.  It is also really easy to allow a not so healthy lunch or dinner, rather than take the time to make sure the kids are eating well balanced meals.  It is a lot easier to open the cookie jar than to cut up some fruit and put it on a plate.  Our kids needs us not to take the easy way out.  They need us to guide them to do the right thing.  Maybe we need them to keep us on the straight and narrow as well.

Next time the kids want a snack, forget the cookies.  Cut up some apples and oranges, sing some fruit songs and enjoy what mother nature has given us, foods that are good and good for us.  When it is time to watch that sing along show for the twentieth time of the day, this is a good time to go for a walk.  If there is a baby involved, get the stroller out and go for a nice long walk.  You can teach small children a lot about nature during a walk.  There are falling leaves, acorns, different sticks and rocks, fresh cut grass, all things that have stories attached.

You can create a better world for your kids.  Teach them to use their imaginations instead of a remote.  Teach them to love nature, and embrace all it has to teach us.

Attachment Disorder is a syndrome in which a child lost that all important bonding time during the early part of their life.  They did not learn to trust that someone would be there to protect them.  Without that interaction with someone they trust, they have learned, mostly out of fear, in essence to take care of themselves. This is a big burden for a small child.  There are many factors that can play a role in creating an attachment disorder.  A baby born addicted to drugs may not be able to bond with the mother or other adults, their body is in such a state of addiction. Children who suffer abuse can have attachment disorders.  Children who may be born ill, having to spend a lot of their early time in a hospital setting, instead of in their mother’s arms can have attachment disorder.

There are signs to look for if you suspect a child has an attachment disorder, and fortunately, there is help.  A child with attachment disorder does not trust those around them.  They lack self control, and do not realize there are consequences for their actions.  They can be bossy children, controlling the situation around them makes them feel safer, as their fear is that they will not be able to control things.  They can be defiant, argumentative and demanding.  They easily throw temper tantrums, and will blame their behavior on others.  They are typically under achievers, and have difficulty maintaining friendships.

There are treatment courses for Attachment Disorder, including therapy to help the child sort out their feelings and fears.  While many of the above symptoms can apply to other behavioral diagnoses, such as Opposition Defiant Disorder or ADHD, even post traumatic stress disorder, recognizing the symptoms is the first step in getting the necessary help to figure out exactly what is going on with the child, thus preparing the proper course of treatment.

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A baby is born.  Before he is even cleaned off he is laid on his mom’s chest.  The bond that began forming on the inside is now outside the womb.  Before a baby is five minutes old the ritual of bonding has begun.  The mother already feels the pangs of detachment when the baby is taken away to be cleaned off, weighed and measured.  The time in the hospital after birth is not only for healing for the mother physically, but a time for mother and baby to get to know one another, or to bond.  Dad and the family are a part of this as well, though their bonding will come once the baby is home and the familiar sounds and smells begin to become apparent to the new life.

The baby only knows what instinct tells him.  Instinct tells him that the mother will feed him.  She will hold him, keep him warm, comfort him, and make him feel better if he is upset or sick.  This bond begins before birth and continues throughout the life of the child and mother.  Dad comes in and his job is to protect.  The baby knows dad is strong and feels safe in his arms.  The baby gets to know how dad smells and will instinctively feel comfortable when dad holds him.

There may be brothers and sisters as well.  The baby will get to know them as well, feel safe with them, beginning the bond of family.  As the baby grows he will know that if he is unfamiliar with his surroundings he should stay near mom, dad or other family members.  If he wanders and he is afraid, he will cry and a family member will come find him.  Bonding is one of the most important parts of the parent-child relationship.  This safe feeling gives the child what he needs to grow and become everything he can be in this world, knowing he has people who love him and protect him.

It’s a sad part of life, but sooner or later someone in your child’s life will pass away. Your child will be sad, confused, and will need help dealing with emotions that have never been experienced before. Together you can mourn your loss, but also cherish all the happy times you’ve shared.

Look Through Photo Albums

Old photographs bring families together, especially at a funeral. Each photograph with your deceased family member will open a flood of memories that you’ll be able to share with your child. Others around you will have their own photos and stories as well, and together you can gather all the photographs and create a photo album of their life. Help him understand that while a funeral is a sad occasion, it can also be a celebration of life.

Embrace the Happy Memories

When you share happy stories with your child, you’re telling her about all the good times spent with family and friends. The more stories she hears about your loved one, the more she’ll begin to realize that even though someone may be dead they’ll never truly be gone because they can live on forever in our hearts and our memories of them. She’ll begin to realize that sometimes a death in the family can bring it closer together.

Remember that it’s Okay to be Sad

In between sharing stories and looking through photographs, you’re going to be sad. So is your child. You just lost someone you loved very much, he needs to know that it’s okay to be sad, it’s alright to be angry, and it’s important to mourn. Take the time to sit someplace quiet with him, and help him understand why he feels so sad. If you start to cry, it’s okay to let him see you crying. Try to comfort him as best as you can, and let him know that his feelings are perfectly normal.

When you drop your baby or toddler off at your parents’ house for the day, you need to remember to bring along everyday things they might need. While it’s great that Grandma and Grandpa can watch over your child, they don’t have a professional daycare setup and all the things you used as a baby are probably long gone. Here are six essentials you don’t want to forget to bring in your day bag.

A Change of Clothes

Accidents happen, food gets spilled, and mud is around every outside corner. Pack a clean set of extra clothes for your child so that he doesn’t have to sit in his dirty clothes all day if he does spill something on himself.

Plenty of Diapers and Wipes

Pack two days worth of diapers and wipes, because you don’t know what’s going to happen while you’re away. If your baby gets sick you’ll want to have provided enough diapers so she can be changed frequently. Don’t forget to pack diaper cream if she has a rash.

Bottles and Milk

Bring enough bottles for the day, and pack more milk than you’ll think will be needed.

Spoons, Sippy Cups and Snacks

Toddlers are still learning how to use cups and forks, so make sure to pack eating utensils he’s comfortable with and some familiar sippy cups. Packing some favorite snacks is also a good idea and could help out your parents if they’re unsure what to feed him.

Favorite Toys

At some point your child is going to want to sit down and play, whether she’s nine months old or 18 months old. If you pack some of her favorite toys, she’ll be able to entertain herself for a while.

A Blanket or Stuffed Animal for Nap Time

Taking a nap in a strange place is difficult, but nap time can be much easier with a favorite blanket or stuffed animal to snuggle with.

Finding daytime care for a child can be difficult, especially if you’re not sure what your options are or if you have special needs that have to be met. There are a plethora of private daycare centers, as well as government run programs. If you happen to live near family, a grandparent or favorite aunt and uncle can be a great choice for a daycare provider.

Going to a Private Daycare

There are a variety of daycare options that are available. Do some research on what each facility offers. You’ll want to look into rates, class size, curriculum, and playground structures. Don’t overlook parent recommendations and reviews, either. If your child is in school, she can talk to her friends and find out what program they’re enrolled in and if they like it or not. You want this to be a happy experience for your child.

Asking Family to Help During the Day

Family members make great babysitters and daycare providers. Your child is already familiar with them, he knows what the rules are at their houses, and he knows it’s a place where he can have fun. You’ll want to ask a family member that has enough time and energy to watch over your kid, and also choose someone who doesn’t have any physical problems that might make it too difficult. Make sure to provide enough diapers and wipes, a change of clothes, as well as bottles and milk if needed.

Enrolling Your Child at the Community Center

If money is a problem and you don’t have available family nearby, look into daycare options at the community center. There are often programs for families with income restrictions that are available. Ask around at the local rec center or YMCA, or try going to your city government’s website for more information. You could also try looking for a program at the church or religious center you attend.

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Sometimes putting your baby to bed can be difficult. If you develop a bedtime routine with your child, every night he’ll become accustomed to going to bed at a set time, he’ll know what to expect, and he might even look forward to it. Here are four things you can incorporate into bedtime.

Nursing or Drinking a Bottle

Even from the very beginning, drinking milk has helped your baby fall asleep. Nursing or having a bottle before bedtime can help make your baby relaxed and drowsy, and it will help keep her belly full so she’s not likely to wake up hungry as often in the middle of the night. If she does wake up hungry, don’t ignore her, and make sure to feed and burp her so she can go back to sleep.

Changing into Pajamas

When your baby gets up in the morning, changing him into daytime clothes signals that it’s the start of a new day, and there’ll be lots of new adventures to look forward to. Putting him in pajamas as part of your bedtime routine lets him know it’s bedtime, and soon he’ll be dreaming about all the exciting things he did earlier.

Reading a Book or Singing a Song

Babies love contact, and reading a book or singing a song can be the highlight of your baby’s bedtime routine. Choose a spot that’s comfortable for both of you, such as a rocking chair or the couch. Once you’ve finished your song or book, take her inside her room and lay her down in her crib.

Say Goodnight!

You can get your baby used to saying goodnight by taking him around the house and saying goodnight to everything and all your family members. Night after night he’ll see that right before he goes to bed he gets to walk around the house and say goodnight to the whole house and that soon you’ll say goodnight to him, too.

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After school programs are great for older children because they help expand their horizons in ways they wouldn’t normally be exposed to in a traditional school setting. There are a variety of options available, from athletics to educational to art, not to mention the benefits of simply attending an after school facility.

Playing Team Sports

Being part of a sports team will not only help her develop healthy fitness habits, but it will also teach her how to work with others towards a common goal. Find out what sports interest her, and then visit the school website to see if they have after school sports programs available. If they don’t, you can find a local organization through the community center.

Attending Educational Programs

Other after school options include education pursuits, such as joining the chess team or the gardening club. There are often non-traditional classes that are offered to students after school, and by letting him participate in them you’re letting him have more experiences in a fun environment that he might not have otherwise.

Enrolling in Art Classes

From painting to singing to acting, you can always find an after school art program on campus. Depending on your child’s age and grade level, she will have the option of enrolling in choir, band, or the school play. Information on these classes is usually available at the front office.

Going to After School Care

We’ve all heard the PSAs about the most dangerous time in a child’s life is between 3 and 6 p.m. Whether you believe that or not, putting your child in after school care could be very beneficial him. Not only does it expose him to the variety of activities that are offered at after school care facilities, but they help him with social skills by being in an environment that encourages interaction with the other kids.

Your child’s first sleep over is a major milestone. To help make it a smooth transition from little kid to big kid there are six important things to make sure you pack in your child’s overnight bag.

Clean Pajamas

This one may seem like a no brainer, but with everything else that need to be packed having a clean set of PJs at a sleep over could accidentally get over looked. Make sure the pajamas are warm enough to last through the night but not too hot, either.

Two Changes of Clothes

Kids are messy. If you child is only staying over for one night you might want to consider packing two sets of clothes anyway. This way if the kids go tromping through the mud or roll around in the grass with the dog, your child will have an extra set of clean clothes to wear when his first set of clean clothes become dirty.

List of Important Phone Numbers

This is important to give to the parents who are hosting the sleep over. This way if there’s an emergency and they can’t reach you, someone in your family will still be contacted.

Sleeping Bag or Pillow

Depending on the size of the sleep over, there might not be enough beds to accommodate all the kids. Even if there are, having their own pillows make it easier for kids to fall asleep in unfamiliar places.

Favorite Stuffed Animal

Your child’s favorite stuffed animal is like a best friend. Let your child bring it along, because it will help in case an attack of homesickness in the middle of the night.

Medications and Toiletries

This might seem like another no brainer, but if your child is taking any medication, make sure to pack it up and bring it along. Don’t forget to pack toothbrushes, hair brushes, and anything else your child uses in the morning or before bed.

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New parents can’t wait for their precious bundle of joy to start sleeping through the night. There are lots of tips for helping a baby get a full night’s rest, and below are three common ones. Remember, every baby is different, and if these techniques don’t work for your family, there are plenty of other methods you can try instead. Listen to your baby and together you can find a healthy balance between routines and free time that works well for both of you.

Nap, Nap, Nap

One of the theories of why a tired child can’t sleep at night is because he is overtired. That might not be so far off; don’t you feel cranky when you haven’t had enough sleep? You can get around this by giving your baby plenty of chances to take naps during the day. After your baby’s been fed, burped and changed, lay him down in his crib or a dark room and see if he’ll take a nap.

Look for Signs of Sleepiness

Some children tug their ears, others rub their eyes. You know your baby better than anyone else, and soon you’ll begin to pick up on her cues when she becomes tired. Take that time to lay her down for a nap. If she fusses and won’t go to sleep, and you’ve checked on her a few times to make sure she’s okay, then pick her up and try again later.

Develop a Bedtime Routine

Babies thrive when they have set routines. Because your family is unique you should develop a routine that suits your specific needs. It can be elaborate, or it can be simple. Common bedtime routines involve taking a bath, drinking a bottle, changing from daytime clothes to pajamas, singing a song, or reading a book. No matter what you do, keeping a routine signals to your baby that it’s time for bed.

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Ending a relationship is never easy, especially when children are involved. No matter how hard it may be on you, it’s even harder on them. You might be losing a spouse, but they’re losing their family as they know it. And it gets even further complicated when one parent walks out on them, but there are ways you can help your children cope in this kind of situation.

Take the time to remind her how much you love her. This is a traumatic event in her life, and right now she’s questioning everything. She could very well be afraid that because one parent walked out on her, that it’s just a matter of time before her other one does, too. Make sure you are reassuring her that you will never leave, that you love her very much, and that even though you might be alone right now her other parent still loves her. Let her know that it’s not her fault, and that there isn’t anything she did that could have caused her other parent to leave.

Be honest with him. No, you don’t know why your spouse left, and yes you also hurt very much. When you’re honest with your child you can help maintain his trust, or rebuild what might have been shattered when his other parent left. He’s in a lot of pain right now, and it can be comforting to know he’s not the only one who hurts. He’s going to have a lot of questions about why his other parent left, and if you try to make up an answer or lie to make it better, he’ll know and he won’t be able to trust you when you try to make him feel better. He’ll reason that if you’ll lie about one thing, what else will you lie about?

Sometimes when a couple breaks up it can be confusing for any children who get stuck in the middle. Depending on their age, they might not fully understand what your divorce means for them and the family they’re used to. And once they’ve gotten accustomed to living with one parent, or switching back and forth, someone gets married and it becomes complicated again.

You can ease this transition by making sure you have open communication with your children and that you’re answering any questions that are asked, as well has spending enough time with them.

When you first approach your child, be very open with him. Let him know that you’re planning to marry someone new, and be prepared for questions. Answer them as plainly and as honestly as you can, making sure to explain whatever parts he asks you to. He might be afraid you no longer love him or will be mad at him if he asks the wrong questions, so try not to act nervous when you talk to him because you might send the wrong signal. Let him know how much you love him, and that having a new person in your life will never take your love away from him.

Remind her that this is not a substitute for her other parent. Just because your previous marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean that the next person you marry is going to replace her other parent. Instead, it’s like she’s getting even more parents, which means she’ll have even more people who love her and care about her. Remind her that your ex still loves her very much, but circumstances are different now. Let her know that it’s not that her family is changing, so much as it’s growing. And having another parent means she’ll have two new grandparents and who knows how many new aunts and uncles, all of whom are very eager to meet her.

Some child or teenage rebellion is normal; children and adolescents are just naturally going to test their limits. However, there are some times when the actions of a child or adolescent can go beyond those of “normal” rebellion. These can include, but are definitely not limited to, the following:

• Behavior that actually has the propensity of placing the child or others in danger of physical harm (hurting oneself or others, engaging in promiscuous sex, or other things).
• Behavior that leads to encounters with law enforcement, court, or other legal or judicial officials.

In these and other instances, family counseling can be a lifesaver (sometimes literally as well as figuratively) as well as a means of preserving your marriage or partnership. Family counseling can help you discover ways to deal with the situation you and your family is currently facing, and learn how to cope so that you can keep peace in the house.

By using Canada 411 as a means of locating family counseling services, you can find a psychologist who will be able to get to the root of why your child may be rebelling or exhibiting the behavior he or she is. In addition, the psychologist can give parents and children advice on the best way to handle the issue or issues behind the behavior.

When you use Canada 411 resources, you can find several family counseling resources. These include those that are faith-based as well as those that are offered through national and international programs. You can find a psychologist through Canada 411 resources by entering the search term “child psychologist” into a search engine. You will find information on the different ones that are located near you.

From there you can determine which one will be best for your family. However, should you discover that one particular counselor is not the best, you will have other options to explore.

Moving to a new city can be traumatic for a child, especially if they’ve lived in one place all their lives. You can help them adjust to their new surroundings by enrolling them in the same activities they were in before, continuing to do your weekend activities, and helping them keep in touch with their old friends.

Continue Your Weekend Activities

If you regularly went to church, or had a picnic at the park every Saturday, don’t stop just because you’ve moved. Maintaining your family’s routines will help make the move easier on a child because they’ll know what to expect. It will also help bring your family closer, and your children will know that just because they’re living someplace new doesn’t mean everything they’ve known and they’re used to has to disappear.

Enroll Your Child in the Same After School Activities

If your child was enrolled in school sports or the choir, try to enroll him in the same activities in his new school. Having familiar classes will help make the transition to a new school easier. Depending on the curriculum and activities calendar, he might be ahead of his team and will be able to help, or he might need help from other students. Encourage this interaction, because it will help him make friends in his new environment.

Keep in Touch with Old Friends

Some friendships last a lifetime, and if your child has developed close friendships you should encourage her to maintain them. Take advantage of modern technology and get her friend’s email address or parents’ cell phone number before you leave. The kids can talk to each other on a regular basis, send each other emails, or meet in kid friendly chat rooms under parental supervision. And don’t forget good old fashioned snail mail, which will help make sending letters and receiving mail a special treat.

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Day care can be scary, and not just for parents. Toddlers are very good at adapting to new situations, but sometimes they can need a little help when they begin a new day care. Things you can do help ease their transition include letting them take along a favorite toy, making your goodbyes quick, and keeping to a set routine.

Bring Along a Favorite Toy or Stuffed Animal

Going to a new place and spending the entire day with strange adults and strange kids can be really scary. If you let you child bring along a favorite toy or stuffed animal it can make the transition easier. The scary part is the unknown, but having something familiar can give your child something emotionally stabilizing to help him when he begins to interact with the unknown.

Make Your Goodbyes Quick

The longer you stay, the worse you make it. When you drop of your child at day care, sit her down in her class, give her a quick hug and a kiss, tell her you’ll be back when you finish with work, and leave. Yes, her cries will follow you as you walk out the door, but within a few minutes after your departure her crying will stop and she’ll begin to play with toys or the other kids. If there’s a serious problem, the day care teacher will let you know.

Keep Your Schedule Consistent

Routines are good for children because they help establish various certainties in their world. Daddy drops me off at day care; Mommy picks me up. Daddy always drops me off and Mommy always picks me up. If he has a routine he can follow, he’ll know what comes next and soon your child will realize that he will always come home at the end of the day because someone will always pick him up from day care.

Do a Walk-Through of Your Bedtime Routine

Make sure your sitter is familiar with your baby’s bedtime routine. Explain where everything is, what time the baby usually goes to sleep, and what signs to look for when your baby begins to get tired. And also explain that it’s likely the baby will push to stay up late because of the excitement of having a new person to play with.

Make a Basket of Diapering Supplies

Gather up a few things your sitter will need — diapers, wipes, diaper cream, a change of clothes, and a small toy to distract the baby — and put them in a basket near your changing area. Having everything centrally located will make changing time easier for both your sitter and the baby.

Set up a Play Area

Find a place where your baby normally plays. Vacuum the floor, pick up any loose papers or dirty clothes, lay down a clean blanket and set out a small variety of toys. Your baby is already familiar with this location as a play area, and by having some preselected toys already out your sitter won’t have to run around trying to entertain the baby.

Have a Few Pre-made Bottles in the Fridge

Figure how much your baby drinks at night and make that amount in bottles, plus an extra one. By having them already made your sitter won’t have to struggle to figure out how much powder goes with how much water, where the clean bottles are, all while dealing with a wiggly hungry baby. Don’t worry about making a little too much because whatever bottles don’t get used will be good for the next day.

Have Phone Numbers Handy

Keep a list of phone numbers that includes your number, your spouse’s number, phone numbers for the grandparents, and a trusted friend or neighbor’s number. Make sure your sitter knows who to call in case of an emergency.

Attachment disorder is broadly defined as a child possessing difficulties in bonding and developing emotional connections with others, usually a parent or guardian figure. Many child development specialists have posited that attachment disorders may be caused by negative experiences in their early relationships, which may make a child feel abandoned, powerless and uncared for.

Attachment disorders in children can cause the child to have difficulty connecting to others, trusting others and managing their own emotions. A child with an attachment disorder usually displays anger, out of control behavior, difficulty showing emotions, does not want to be touched and does not show affection towards others.

Parenting children with an attachment disorder can be quite frustrating and exhausting. Children with an attachment disorder need to know that they are loved and cared for unconditionally. Remembering to remain calm and patient despite whatever behaviors or actions they display is key to establishing a solid foundation for the child.

Tips for parenting a child with an attachment disorder include having realistic exceptions, understanding that it will be a long journey ahead, keeping a sense of humor, remembering to be happy and have fun with your child, manage stress and remember to take care of yourself, find a support group or counselor to talk to and finally, be positive that change is and will occur. Other parents have gone through this and had positive outcomes, find them and discuss the situation. It will be make everyone feel better.

Attempting to give a child with an attachment disorder a new outlook on life is hard. It will be important that they have a counselor or therapist to discuss their issues with as well. They will be struggling to accept that this attachment is for real and that opening up is okay. Remembering that it is just as hard for the child to repair the damage that was done will help the parents keep moving forward in the hard journey.

Parenting is a difficult job, but a few strategies for raising children will help make the job easier in years to come. It’s important to set rules. Be consistent, and be aware of your child’s needs. Parents should also be willing to receive and apply parenting advice from others who have had the same experiences.

Keep rules simple and easy to understand. Ask your child to explain the rules and why the rules are important. Develop rules that can be applied to different situations. For example, you may tell your children that they must follow your directions and do what you ask immediately. You can also establish rules for different situations, like visiting a store. For example, your rule may dictate that your child does not take an item from a shelf without asking for permission. You may also tell your child that he or she may not have any of the items during routine visits to the store. Children should also understand the penalties for breaking the rules. Reward your child for keeping the rules and penalize the child when the rule is broken. Rewards and penalties should be manageable. For example, don’t create a penalty unless you are willing (and have the time and energy) to impose it. Rules can be changed through the years. It will be necessary to establish new rules or adjust current rules as the children get older.

Consistency is also key when raising children. Keep both your rules and penalties for breaking the rules consistent. Children should understand that if they don’t follow the rule, they will get a certain penalty every time. They should not be able to talk you out of the penalty, or they shouldn’t think that you won’t impose the penalty because you won’t feel like it or be too distracted. Finally, understand your child’s needs. Pay attention to your child and listen to other people who care for your child.

Children with attachment disorders have a hard time developing relationships and controlling their emotions. They may try to exert control over the people around them and frequently display anger.

Children develop attachment disorders as a result of a lack of interaction with their caregivers as infants and young children. These children were probably ignored when they cried, left for hours in wet diapers and never talked to or smiled at. They generally went without their needs being met, so they never learned to depend on or trust their caregiver.

There are instances where the situation that caused the attachment disorder was completely unavoidable. For example, children that were hospitalized as infants may have been separated from their parents for long periods of time. Adopted children must sometimes live with a caregiver before going to live with their parents. These are two examples of situations that could possible result in an attachment disorder where the parents are not responsible in any way for it.

There are several signs of attachment disorder to watch for. Infants that don’t smile, reach out to you to be picked up, or don’t seem to care when you do pick them up may have an attachment disorder. These children may spend a lot of time trying to comfort themselves and don’t show much interest in playing with toys or their caregivers. If your child displays these symptoms, it does not mean they have an attachment disorder, but it does mean you should closely observe them and have them examined by a pediatrician.

Attachment disorders are treatable and the earlier the disorder is recognized and treatment begins, the better. It is not easy to parent a child with an attachment disorder, but it is very rewarding to see that child improve and begin to trust you as a result of your love and care.

Reactive attachment disorder can be a difficult condition to understand. In infants and toddlers, the condition is marked by a failure to interact with caregivers. The child may not smile or play, instead they seem withdrawn and sad. Many children with reactive attachment disorder become calm when they are alone.

Reactive attachment disorder is thought to occur when a child does not bond with their caregiver, typically a parent, relative, or nanny, early in life. Many scholars describe the process as a cycle where the child’s basic needs such as food and shelter are not met early in their life.

Children who are victims of abuse or neglect often experience reactive attachment disorder, although it is important to know that this is not always the case. It can also occur in children whose early lives have been marked by uncertainty or who have been moved between multiple caregivers in a short period of time.

Treatment for reactive attachment disorder is often a lifelong process. Attachment therapists specialize in treating children with this disorder and often have methods that differ from other counselors.

Some attachment therapists believe that it is important to bring the entire family to therapy sessions in order to identify the problems and work to develop a plan for them to heal as a group. Attachment therapists believe that providing the family with the tools to move forward is key to the healing process.

While family therapy can help to identify what is going on that has caused this condition, it must walk a fine line between healing the family unit and identifying the child’s needs. If the child with reactive attachment disorder is not given time to speak on his or her own, it becomes easy for a caregiver to mask the true nature of the problems.

Being a parent to your children means having to make really difficult decisions. Your child is the joy of your life and the last thing that you want them to do is to be happy but sometimes for the greater good it means that you have to do some things that you would rather not do. One of those things is you have to say no to your child. This is never fun. No comes about because your child’s well being is at stake, you don’t have the resources to provide something or it’s just best that you lay down the law. Here are a few reasons to say no and why it’s ok to say no.

If your child is going to do something that could potentially cause them pain then there is no reason to ever say yes to that. As a matter of fact your child should be told no. If there is something that is going to cause them emotional pain then there is sometimes where you have to let it happen. However, that doesn’t mean you should all the time.

The key with anytime you say no is to let your children understand why you had to deny them something. Often times kids get the impression that you are doing what you do just to be mean but you know better than that. If kids can vaguely understand the concept behind denial they will be more likely to accept this denial. Also, what you are doing is setting your kids up for knowing that they are better off not asking again.

Sometimes you need to say no to teach them a life lesson. Like if you were rewarding them for good grades but then they just continue to act out. You must deny them the reward. They will need to learn there are consequences for their actions.

When you are trying to parent your child, it can sometimes be difficult to find a balance between your needs and their needs. Indeed, it takes an unselfish person to be a parent. It can help to remember that your child will be a child for only a short time. Although it can sometimes seem like an eternity, in reality there is an end in sight.

As you parent your child throughout her childhood, be sure to take her needs into consideration when making decisions whenever possible. This includes making time to really listen to her when she is talking to you, even if her timing is less than optimal. Taking this time for her will show her that you value her ideas as well as her presence. This can only help your relationship as she gets older and is exposed to more ideas that need adult guidance.

Encourage your child to help you in the kitchen or run an errand with you. It is often at these low pressure times that he will open up. Due to the casual nature of this time, it is likely that he will begin to talk about the issues of his life. Although it can be difficult, particularly at first, try to refrain from offering solutions to his problems. It is likely that he simply wants to talk in a safe atmosphere.

There may be times, however, that she does ask for your advice on how to handle a certain situation. In these instances, try to remain as neutral as possible while presenting all of the sides of the issue. Try, too, to refrain from speaking negatively about her friends, even if she does so. It is likely that she will remain friends with these same people. She might not feel like she can talk to you about them if you speak against them, however.

Saying no is never as much fun as saying yes. Saying no is a negative word and one we try and teach our children to not say. We want them to embrace life and to always be looking at the positives as opposed to the negatives. You have to be clear that there are times when saying yes is the most important thing you can get a child to say. However, there are many children who pick up the bad habit of saying no and that habit will only lead them to a life of closing off opportunities. So getting your child in the right frame of mind is important. Here’s how you can try to do that.

The best part about saying yes is that it keeps the door open for so much. So the other issue is more about getting your child to understand when to say no and why to say no. Letting them know that the best reason to say no is when it will hurt yourself or others. The last thing that you would want is your child saying yes to making fun of someone who had less than them. It’s never ok to say yes if it will come at the expense of someone else.

The other thing is to get it into practice in your child’ life. Saying yes should be the mantra and saying yes should be the way to open doors. So keep special attention to things that are coming up and say yes to them. Whether it be that your child was invited to a birthday party or that your child say basketball tryouts are next week, just get them to say yes to the idea and you will see that not only are doors opening but your child is leading a more productive lifestyle.

There comes a time in every child’s life where the maturity of life catches up with them and they start wondering about things that are more adult than you might want your child to be thinking about. One of those topics is sex. I’s a natural thing that a child goes through, thinking about the other sex and thinking about what it would be like to engage in more grown up activities. As a parent you dread this conversation. It’s uncomfortable to you and the child and you would rather not have it at all. But you are also grown up enough yourself to know that a child who isn’t armed with the right information is more likely to make all the wrong mistakes. So if you are going to approach your child about sex then these are some ways to release the pressure on you and them.

Don’t Make A Big Deal About It

This is an important measure. Calling your kid into the living room and having them sit down spells doom to the child. Instead, take them some place where you can have a good time with them and talk with them casually. If kids don’t feel cornered then they won’t feel as awkward and are less likely to tune you out.

Ask Them Questions

Children don’t want to be lectured to. They want to be talked to and the best way to have any conversation is to ask them what they know. You might be surprised to find out that they know a lot more than you think.

You Are Always Around

Keeping the door open to revisit the conversation helps them to feel like they can come to you for anything. That’s what you want them to feel. Make sure they understand that it’s a long process to understand and you’re always there to help them understand better.

Change is the only thing that is constant in this world. Yet, we always like to focus on preventing change. We try to believe that some things in our life will never change. Our attachment to our parents and their care and concern for us happens to be one such thing.

We often underestimate the extent to which they rely upon this bond. Our bond with our family and our confidence that this care and affection will remain unchanged helps us progress in life. No matter how many problems we face, we take solace in the fact that they this is one bond that will always be present.

In such a scenario, it is not surprising that a child who has faced severe problems in forming attachment with family members and adults will face problems in the future as well. Attachment disorders have been noted in those kids who interact with individuals and get to spend at least six month with them but are separated from them before spending three years.

If this pattern is repeated with different individuals and caregivers, the child will automatically find it difficult to form attachment. Of course, the issue is not as simple as described above. However, absence of an attachment and social interaction at a very young age causes significant impact on the ability of the individual to form relationships in the future.

Needless to say, the responsibility of ensuring that the child does not suffer from attachment disorders belongs to parents and caregivers. One does not have to be a parent to form attachment.

Even the status of a relative is good enough as long as one is sincere towards the relationship. All it takes is one strong relationship with the child to send the message across that creating and forming attachments and new relationships is worth the effort it requires. This can make a huge difference to the future of the child.

There are parents who are experienced because they have already grown up children. These people will advice the younger generation, who have just become parents on the methods of taking care of the young child. Many of the young parents think that they know everything and do not take the advice of the older people seriously. This can lead to very severe problems in bringing up the child because parenting advice and tips for raising children is very important for every parent.

There are a lot of aspects to bringing up a child. There are many children who understand the weaknesses of the parents a lot more than their spouses do. This weakness is taken advantage of, by the child. Many parents seem to be losing the battle with their children because the kids are ahead of them in every step of a shouting match. The best method that the parent can use in bringing up the child is to make sure that the child is disciplined from a very young age.

One important parenting advice and tip for raising children is that the parent should try not to shout at the child. The parents should be kind at the same time very firm with their children. It is good to be friendly with the child, but the child should know who has the authority in the family. The reason is that in this world where there is survival of the fittest, the child learns to be best in everything from a very young age. This should be appreciated, but the growth should be under the control of the parents, otherwise the child will become difficult to handle as he or she grows and finally the child will only suffer because of not listening to the parents on some very important matters.

Many parents are concerned that they might spoil their baby or child. This can be an issue that weighs on the first time parent’s mind quite a bit. If you are a parent that is expecting your first baby, you may hear lots of advice from people who warn you not to pick her up every time she cries or else you run the risk of spoiling her. For the youngest of infants, however, this is simply untrue.

The young baby has only one mechanism with which to communicate his desires. This mechanism is crying. Although it can be difficult at first to determine why your baby is crying, it is important to comfort him and check for the most common reasons for a small baby’s unhappiness.

The most common reason for a baby to cry is hunger, followed closely by an uncomfortable diaper, the need to burp, or being too hot or cold. However, there are also many times when a baby simply wants to be held. This is understandable as the womb was a compact environment that kept her secure and safe. Using a sling, or some other type of baby carrier, will allow you to satisfy your baby’s need to be held while still leaving your hands free to take care of other children or to do chores.

Holding, as well as cuddling, your baby is a natural desire. It is one that should be acted on as often as possible since this will build the secure and attached bond between you and your baby. Your baby will come to realize that he is safe with you. This will allow him to build the confidence he needs to explore his world as he continues to grow and mature. Having a secure attachment to a primary caregiver is vital to every baby’s healthy development.

There are many parents who seem lost when they are taking care of their children. There are many of them who do not know how to take care of the child. They are usually the first time parents who have their first child. The child seems to be taking them for a ride. These are the parents who need a lot of parenting advice and tips for raining children.

There are certain methods that they have to use to make sure that the child listens to what is being said to them. Though it is not good to spank the child too much as it can leave a lasting impression in the child, spanking can be reserved as a punishment for something that the child should never do.

The best method of punishing and disciplining a child is to give them time outs. This is the time when the child is made to sit in a corner of the room and is not allowed to talk or do anything, but face the wall and sit for a specific period of time. This is one of the best methods that will work in disciplining the children whom you raise.

The other method that can be used in punishing and disciplining the child is to give the child less time watching television if the child behaves badly. Usually kids watch television for a specific period of time. This time can be reduced or the favorite cartoon program can be cut for the child on the day when the child behaves badly. This is another simple method of disciplining the child which will be very effective. These are simple methods that will prevent physically hurting the child and at the same time will help to discipline the child effectively and adequately by the parents.

Attachment disorders can occur in any child at any point in time during their childhood. For one reason or another the child did not adequately bond with the parent and instead has attachment issues with the parent as they grow older.

Many parents do not realize that their child runs the risk of developing such a disorder and therefore do not take the steps to avoid it from happening. Here are some tips that a new parent can do to make sure that their child does not develop attachment disorder in their later years.

Baby Massage. Baby massages have become very popular over the years. These massage techniques allow the parent and child a significant amount of time each day to bond together. The bond between child and parent is further strengthened by the physical contact and the relaxation of the massage.

Games. There are a lot of interactive games that parents and child can play together. Make sure that whatever game is being played the child is involved in and playing along. This can include songs, talking in odd voices or anything that will attract the child’s attention.

Reading. Reading is another great bonding activity that many children with attachment disorders did not have during childhood. Simply reading for a half hour a day to the child allows them to develop an attachment that can avoid attachment disorder. This could be during the day or even at bedtime each night.

Holding and Snuggling. There are lots of times that a child will need to be held and snuggled by the parent. Do this as often as is needed. If the child shows anger, aggression or frustration a hug, hold or snuggle can help calm them down. At the same time it can help avoid attachment disorder.

There are just some of the general tips that a parent can do to avoid attachment disorder. Try to interact with your baby as often as possible and you’ll avoid attachment disorder.

Attachment disorder occurs in children who are believed to have not completed the bonding process of growing up. For one reason or another their brains read that when a parent leaves they are leaving for good and instead of reacting in a way that a normal child who has completed this cycle would they end up becoming attached the parent.

Many times attachment disorder can be so intrusive on daily living that parents are forced to seek therapeutic measures to treat this disorder. One of the most important and widely used therapy session is that of the nurturing activities between parent and child.

Therapists encourage parents and children to engage in nurturing activities that will essentially bring back the child to childhood. When they go back to childhood they are essentially trying to reform that bond that did not fully develop in childhood. Although many parents will try to treat attachment disorder in a child between the ages of 6 to 9, this type of therapy can be encouraged in children as old as 15 and 16.

These therapy sessions encourage parents to engage in activities that a child of ages 1 to 2 would normally engage in. This can include reading bedtime stories together at night, singing songs together, playing make believe or even just play interacting. The reason behind engaging in these activities is because many therapists believe that it can take the child back and reform that bond.

It is believed that the older the child the longer the therapy sessions will have to last because of the long amount of time that the attachment disorder is left in the child. They become accustomed to it and it becomes a part of their lives. Because of this reason, parents are encouraged to try and treat attachment disorders as soon as they notice them no matter what the age of the child.

Are you the one who is willing to make your family into a successful family? If yes, then there are some things that you need to know and understand before setting out to do just that. If you are a parent looking for perfection, then you could relax a little. There is no thing is as perfection in parenting. Everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. So do parents.

Command respect from your children, don’t demand it. As a parent, you need to exercise a certain degree of authority. Even if that meant you are being scorned at by your children. If you lose your authority over your children, then you lose control over them. The best years to exercise control over your children would be when they are young. When you try to start exercising control over them when they are teenagers, it might be too late.

Always serve generous offerings of love and trust to your children. Make them know that you love them. In this way they will not resist your authority as a parent, but respect it. They would know that you are doing such things because you love them. If you are a parent who does not care for your children, and still exercise you authority, you could be in the eye of future revolt from your children.

Spend plenty of time with your children. Get them to know you well. Don’t be a stranger to your own children. Take your children for a hike on weekends. Bicycle with them. Drive them to Sunday school. Go for morning jogs with them. Play their games. Have fun with them. Be their friend.

Give your children the power to make decisions. Make them choose wisely. Counsel them on the art of discretion. Whenever you take them out, make them take the lead. Develop leadership qualities in them. When your children grow up, they will respect you for all these efforts that you put on them.

The first step for a single parent would be to get someone to be their partner. They can potentially hook up with another single parent at PTA meetings or sports events or anywhere. In this way, a single parent can feel more relaxed and hopeful about a non-lonely future. After all hope is the last one to die. And what is life without love and romance. Single parents don’t have to necessarily be single all the time. By finding them a good partner, they can ease their tensions towards themselves and their kids.

If you are looking for a partner, let your child know about it. Don’t bring partners home just like that. Remember that your actions will inspire the same in your child as well. After sometime even your child might start bringing partners home without your consent. And the blame could be squarely laid on you, since you were the one who started this precedent. By talking to your kid about your boyfriends or girlfriends, your child will trust you more, and respect your actions.

If you have found another partner, get this person to familiarize with the kid. Doing this will greatly reduce any awkwardness that might exist between the kid and the new person. You can even plan for an outing with your kid and your new partner. Your kid will start to develop a liking for your partner. The more you and your new partner spend time with your kid, the better. Your kid will feel more secure in the new person’s company as much as the kid feels so in your company.

When you are ready to move in with your new partner, let your kid know well in advance. Don’t let it be a surprise to your kid. Kids don’t like to be surprised with such things. They might develop wrong perceptions about love and relationships. You have to let your kid know about your actions well in advance.

There may be as many ways to treat an attachment disorder as any other cognitive misbehavior, but one of the simplest methods to handle this issue begins during a child’s infancy. Quite simply, don’t let your baby spend large amounts of time on its own, away from your nurturing care. It is during periods of time spent alone and feeling a lack of nurturing that the seeds of attachment disorders are planted. Simply put, from about the age of six months until three years, the young are susceptible to feelings of abandonment such as at no other time in their lives. The more that parents are able to foster extra care, attention, and love onto their child at this fragile age, the more likely an attachment disorder will not form.

However, there are obstacles, as in every life situation. Sometimes a child comes down with an illness or infection which requires a lengthy hospital stay. Even the most well-intentioned parent cannot visit at a hospital for very many hours of the day, as hospital visiting hours just don’t allow it. Although there is likely to be plenty of doctor and nurse interaction, the infant recognizes that they are strangers, and not the usual faces. It may seem like a conundrum – obviously the infant needs hospital care – but it can come at a cost. Being aware of the attachment issue prior to any scenario raising its head is the best strategy.

Short of valid reasons for an infant to be separated from its parents, it is essential to future mental health that a child receive much attention from both parents during its formative years. Children are sensitive to lopsided affection, in which one parent appears to give more affection and care than the other, so it’s vital that both parents exhibit effort. By taking the time to dote on their children, most parents will be able to avoid any sort of attachment disorder from occurring.

Are you planning to adopt a child from an orphanage? If yes, then you need to know more about attachment disorders. Have you heard of the story of the jackal that tried to eat the grapes and concluded that the grapes were sour when it could not succeed? That is exactly how human beings work too.

If you desire something and fail to get it, you try to console yourself by saying that it was not worth having anyways. The next time you get a chance to enjoy the same thing, you will simply reject it due to the past pain. That is how attachment works.

Children seek attachment when they are young. If they do not get it, they find ways to reconcile themselves to the situation. They simply conclude that having attachment is not essential. If you have adopted a child from an orphanage, it is obvious that you will be taking the child from an attention deficient environment to an environment where you are ready to cater to each and every requirement of the child.

In such a scenario, to find that the child is not interested in your care can be very painful. Instead of presuming that the child is ungrateful, you should understand that the child is simply hiding from its past demons. It is not prepared to form attachment with you because it fears that you too shall abandon it. Considering the past experiences of the child, its fears are justified. What steps should you take to overcome this problem?

Well, it is obvious that you will have to be very patient. Secondly, you will have to take specific steps to solve the problem. Just showering the child with lots of attention is not going to work.

You may need counseling for not just the child but yourself and all your family members. You will need support of your spouse and the siblings of the child.

Attachment disorders, also called Reactive Attachment Disorder, is the result of a negative experience a child may have had when they were younger. This can include abuse, neglect or even abandonment. Children that have suffered through any of those will begin to learn and believe early on that they can’t depend on anyone for anything.

A child that has been unable to connect with a parent or primary caregiver can often suffer from an attachment disorder. There are many factors that can cause this such as: not picking a child up when it has been crying, a baby that hasn’t been fed or changed in hours, no communication or attention given to the baby, or even a child that has been moved around constantly through foster homes or adoption. The child never has a chance to bond with anyone, and may therefore suffer from this condition.

Symptoms of an attachment disorder in a child can include things like: not making eye contact, not talking or smiling, constantly crying, doesn’t make typical baby cooing sounds and even not interested in playing with toys or interacting with others.

If you have a child that is showing any of these symptoms, you need to work with the child to make them healthy and loving again. Always stay positive around your child; they can easily pick up on negative feelings. Try joking around or playing with him/her. You may find that this makes your bond a little stronger. Make sure you always have patience with your child. It may take him/her a long time to start trusting and bonding with you, and if you show patience with them, it can make the process go faster.

Use support from your friends and family to get through these hard times. Ask for help if you need it, and consider joining a support group so that you can meet other parents going through the same thing as you.

Attachment disorders are behavioral disorders that develop in children during the first of two years of growth. They develop as a result of negative experiences during child’s early relationships. Psychologists argue that children who feel insecure, isolated or abandoned eventually learn that they cannot rely on others and view the world as a dangerous place. They exhibit physical and psychological distancing from adults, uncontrollable anger and poor impulse control.

Research has shown that children who suffer from reactive attachment disorders are likely to experience difficulties in forming healthy loving and lasting intimate relationships in their future life because they lack meaningful skills to do so. This leads to lack of trust, low self esteem and desire to be in control.
Attachment disorders can be repaired by building the child’s sense of security. This is important because the sole cause of attachment disorders is lack of trust and feelings of insecurity. Creating a sense of security therefore makes it easy for the child to accept love and support.

Setting consistent limits and loving boundaries for children with attachment disorders makes their world less scaring and gives them power to be in control over their lives. When such children understand what is expected of them, what is acceptable and what is not acceptable as well as the consequences of disobeying, they positively take charge over their lives and become less rebellious, knowing that they are in control.

Psychologists advice people living with children who suffer from attachment disorders to create secure infant attachment by always remaining calm when the child is upset. This is because the child has limited skills to handle his/her feelings and needs help. Staying calm therefore teaches the child that the feelings of anger can be managed.

Other alternatives for repairing attachment disorders include, being always available to resolve any conflicts, owning up mistakes, reconciling, listening, talking and playing with your child.

Attachment Disorders is a resource for parents of children with the disorder. During the first year of life a child requires round the clock needs, if for some reason the child is unable to receive their proper needs they develop symptom such as lacking genuine affection, being controlling or bossy, underachieves, and has a fascination with death, fire, ect. This can be caused by an over-parenting problem, or lack there of in the case of an unwanted pregnancy or using drugs or alcohol during pregnancy.

This site offers information on diagnosis, treatment, and studies that indicate that it is possible for these children to eventually life normal lives and hold affectionate relationships. The priority treatment is therapy and there have been many controversies over whether or not this is effective. The site covers both sides and allows parents to obtain information on other ways to help children with Attachment Disorder.

Values Statement

P roviding quality treatment for children with attachment disorder

A dvocating for supportive, responsive communities

R esearching effective treatment methods

E ducating communities on the causes, effects, and prevention of attachment disorder

N urturing and empowering families

T raining professionals in the assessment and treatment of children with attachment disorder and their families

Symptoms of Attachment Disorder

o Inability to give and receive affection in a real way; lack of eye contact on parental terms; indiscriminate affection with strangers

o Marked control problems: extreme defiance and anger

o Destructive to self, others, animals, material things; accident prone

o Manipulative: superficially “charming”

o Stealing

o Hoarding or gorging food

o Preoccupation with fire or gore

o Lack of impulse control and cause and effect thinking

o Learning and speech disorders

o Lack of conscience

o Lying about the obvious

o Poor peer relationships

o Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter

o Inappropriately demanding and clingy

o Parents appear hostile and angry

by Beverly White, MA, LPC

I see “IT” in my office every day. I hear “IT” repeatedly, yet no one directly addresses “IT”. “IT” is the low-grade depression experienced by many parents of a child with attachment difficulties. The symptoms vary from very mild generalized feelings of not knowing what’s wrong to a full-blown feeling that “I give up. If I have to live the rest of my life like this, then I want out”. Out means things like leaving the marriage, relinquishing the child(ren), and (in rare cases) feelings of suicide.

Some of the most common and notable signs of depression include: low energy; low to no motivation; changes in sleeping and eating patterns; feelings of ambivalence; an increase in irritability (not due to PMS or other factors); decreased self-esteem; decreased interest in sex; decreasing ability to focus and concentrate; memory problems; and sometimes thoughts of suicide or the intention to commit suicide.

Since so much of the energy of the parents of these children is extended toward the child, parents most often fail to see that they aren’t saving enough or giving enough time and attention to their own needs. Once they do take notice that they have slipped into a depressive state, they typically blame themselves. The only thing they could be at fault for is forgetting to take care of themselves while parenting their children.

Children with Reactive Attach-ment Disorder don’t learn reciprocity during the first year of life. Therefore, they don’t function as reciprocal human beings. Parents end up giving and giving to the child, without getting anything back and being emotionally replenished.

Most of us who come from the 50’s generation were taught by our parents to sacrifice for our children, and to put the needs of our children first. This philosophy will most assuredly lead us into the black hole of depression when parenting children who don’t reciprocate, and it can put us into a less than effective and co-dependent role when parenting our other children who do reciprocate.

Children with attachment and bonding difficulties are experts at controlling even the most meaningless situations. Their eternal vigil to obtain and stay in control leaves parents in a position of being continually tested and challenged for the role of parent. Since the attachment disordered child wants to be his/her own parent (boss), parents are constantly exerting energy to maintain their appropriate place and job as parent. Out of an unconscious fear that not being in control means not surviving, the child works overtime to wrest control from the parents. Thus, parents must unconsciously work overtime to stay one step ahead of the child, and wonder why, on a conscious level, they feel so exhausted all the time.

If you often find yourself wondering “what’s wrong”, or “why don’t I feel better about my parenting skills” (or about my life), then it’s time to recognize that the challenges of parenting your child with attachment difficulties may be creating a low-grade depression for you. Start talking to your spouse, friends, clergy, therapist, and/or other parents. Get some support and relief. Assert yourself to reach out and connect with others who can understand your situation and relate to your feelings. Otherwise, you may find yourself unable to function as a parent, or worse.

Beverly Baker White is a therapist in private practice in both Littleton and Evergreen, Colorado.



by Denise Flanders

Whether or not a parent of a severely disturbed child feels supported (or simply survives) depends a great deal on how much they involve their community. It’s up to the parent to make the first move in establishing a positive relationship in the community before the child establishes a negative one. Educating our neighbors, church, the stores we frequent, and the families of our child’s classmates is a formidable task, but one that is well worth the effort.

Neighbors can be brought in naturally by inviting them over for a cookout, or just a cup of coffee. Make them feel comfortable and welcome amidst the sometimes crazy environment of your home. Be up front about how chaotic life can get, and how things aren’t always what they appear to be. Taking into account the need for confidentiality about your child, let them know that you are always open to any questions they may have, so they shouldn’t hesitate to ask. Check in with them periodically, even if it’s just an over-the-fence visit. Make sure that they know that you hold your child responsible for any damages he may cause, and that restitution will be made as quickly as possible.

Our church family can also be a great source of help. Often it is within the church that we find the greatest concentration of adoptive and foster families who are hurting. Volunteer to give a workshop on parenting difficult kids, start a support group, and be available to offer help at Sunday school and other youth activities. The more you reach out, the more willing hands you will find to give you something back.

If our child has an incident with a store (such as stealing), we address it immediately. We take the child to the store manager, have the child return the item to that person (if possible), have the child tell when and how she stole the item, apologize for the theft, and tell the manager how she plans to make restitution. Let the manager know that similar incidents may occur again, and to call you as soon as it does. Frequent their store, and make them an ally.

If our child is fortunate (or manipulative) enough to have friends at school, we’re open and available to the parents of those friends. We have the friend over to our house the first few times so we can get a better feel for the relationship. Is the play healthy and appropriate? Who is the leader? How do they resolve differences between them? If our child has handled the relationship during several visits at our house, he may be ready to go to the friend’s home. We let the friend’s parents know what problem areas to watch out for (especially if our child has a history of sexual acting-out with others), and make sure they know to call us as soon as any problems arise. If our child seems to be handling short visits, their length can be extended as behavior warrants. Any overnight visits should be viewed with caution, only after a long period of displaying the ability to have a normal, healthy relationship,and under tight supervision in our home the first time.

Each segment of our community can be brought into our family structure to some degree. If they can be made to feel part of a team, community members will be a source of support. Let them know that, with their help, we can heal one more disturbed child.

Denise Flanders is a therapeutic foster parent with the Attachment Center at Evergreen.

by Liz Randolph, PhD

A frequent criticism heard by attachment therapists has to do with whether or not there is any research to show that attachment therapy works. Up until recently, the answer to this question was no. However, in June 1996 an outcome study was conducted by Loy Goodwin, PhD to examine whether or not attachment therapy is effective with severely disturbed children. Dr. Goodwin used the Attachment Disorder Symptom Checklist (ADSCL) developed by the Attachment Center at Evergreen, assigning a number value to the options of never, moderate, or severe (0, 1, or 2 respectively) to assess changes in the type and frequency of behavior problems exhibited by 38 children (ages 5 to 15) receiving intensive attachment therapy at ACE between 1993 and 1995. Parents completed the ADSCL in the week prior to the start of the intensive, and then again anywhere between two months and two years after completing intensive attachment therapy.

Because the reliability and validity of the ADSCL have never been investigated, the results of Dr. Goodwin’s study can only be interpreted descriptively. Although Dr. Goodwin used statistical procedures with the data she obtained, finding significant decreases in almost all of the behaviors described on the ADSCL (abnormal eating habits was the only item that showed no significant change), the lack of reliability and validity data on the ADSCL makes it inappropriate to interpret the data in this way.

However, what is important about the results of Dr. Good-win’s study is the finding that the ADSCL shows a 50% reduction in overall symptoms of attachment disorder following two weeks of intensive attachment therapy. In addition, behavioral changes continued to be present as much as two years following the completion of the intensive (13 of the children studied were reevaluated more than 18 months after the intensive was completed).

Dr. Goodwin’s study indicates the need for more outcome research about attachment therapy. Better designed and controlled outcome studies are currently under way by ATTACh, by Robin Meyeroff at the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio, here at ACE, and by this author. Results of these studies, although not yet ready to be published, are promising.

The complete text of Dr. Good-win’s dissertation is available from ACE for $5.00, plus .22 tax and $4.50 shipping and handling.

by Paula Pickle, LCSW, Executive Director

During the month of January, we received notice regarding President Clinton’s challenge to the nation through his Presidential Directive on Adoption. The goal of this directive is, by the year 2002, to at least double the number of children in foster care who are adopted or permanently placed each year. This is a major undertaking. We believe that children and families need resources and support if parents are to be successful at integrating these children into their families. Our response to the issues raised in this directive is as follows:

Many individuals, including therapists and adoption professionals, believe that maltreated children will be okay if placed in a loving, stable family. Over the past 25 years, 90% of the clientele at the Attachment Center at Evergreen have been loving and stable families who have adopted children from the US and around the world. These parents have discovered that “love and security”, as well as traditional psychotherapy, are not enough to erase the hurt these children have experienced, nor to help these children move beyond their fear, anger and distrust. Children who do not trust frequently grow up to fill our prisons, and to give birth to a whole new generation of children with attachment disorder.

ACE is internationally recognized for its treatment and training in the areas of foster care, adoption and attachment disorder. Based upon our work in this field we would like to make the following comments and suggestions:

1) Doubling the number of children adopted or permanently placed by 2002 Care should be taken when offering incentives to Departments of Social Services (DSS) for adoptive placements to ensure that these incentives are paired with a mandate to share information about a child with prospective adoptive parents. FULL DISCLOSURE OF RECORDS SHOULD BE MANDATORY.

Care should be taken that the Government does not shift the financial burden of caring for these severely damaged special needs children to the parents who are willing to open their homes and hearts to these children. ADOPTION SUBSIDIES FOR THESE CHILDREN SHOULD BE MANDATORY SO THAT FAMILIES HAVE THE RESOURCES TO MEET THE SIGNIFICANT NEEDS OF THESE CHILDREN. SUBSIDIES MUST INCLUDE PROVISIONS FOR APPROPRIATE PSYCHOTHERAPY FOR THESE CHILDREN.

2) Moving children more rapidly from foster care to permanent homes. We support clarification of the “reasonable effort” requirement. Birth parents of maltreated children are frequently victims of maltreatment themselves. They should be committed from the day their child enters DSS care to addressing their own maltreatment issues, with no tolerance on the part of DSS for diversion tactics on the part of the birth parents. This is the only way the cycle of abuse can be broken. CHILDHOOD WILL NOT WAIT!!

Children in the foster care system should be assessed and appropriately placed from day one. Every bad move for a child cannot be undone. MULTIPLE MOVES IN THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM ARE AS DAMAGING TO A CHILD AS SEVERE MALTREATMENT, AND ARE A SIGNIFICANT BARRIER TO SUCCESSFUL PERMANENT PLACEMENT.

3) Increasing public awareness. We support increasing public awareness, not just of the need for adoption, but also of the presence of attachment disorder, its diagnosis and treatment issues. WE MUST PROVIDE ADOPTIVE PARENTS WITH THE TOOLS THEY NEED TO SUCCEED WITH THESE CHILDREN.

Early detection of attachment problems is essential so that appropriate treatment and training can be provided to families, thus avoiding years of pain and suffering for the entire family.

Increased awareness among the therapeutic community as to the special and unique needs of these children and their families is essential if we are to be successful in our efforts to find a loving, secure home for every child.

Dianne Allred and Gregory C. Keck, PhD.

We’ve been hearing some confusion being expressed by folks across the country regarding attachment work, specific techniques, and “who” does “what.”

There are many attachment therapists and attachment programs in Colorado, and a growing number around the country. Each practitioner has his/her own philosophies and methods, which may or may not be similar to others who are also doing attachment work.

For example, there seems to be a fair amount of confusion and misinformation about a therapeutic technique called “holding therapy.” Over the years, therapists have developed their own versions of this technique (which often don’t even resemble the original holding therapy), but most of them call it by the same name. Television programs which have depicted particular methods of certain therapists, have misled the public into believing that everything called holding therapy looks the same, and is practiced in the same way by every therapist for every child.

Many people have also been misinformed by well meaning child activists who have either never actually seen our work, or have seen small clips of old tapes taken completely out of context. They have mistakenly generalized all attachment therapies and therapists. As a result of these overzealous attempts to protect (and the passing on of outdated or incorrect information), some children and families may not get the help they need.

Like any other field of work, attachment therapy has evolved with time. Techniques that worked with children 25 (or even 5) years ago have evolved into different techniques that have been developed to help children today. Methods that will be used 5 or 10 years from now might look entirely different as well.

Constant research, study and self-evaluation is necessary to be able to find the best ways of reaching each child’s heart. At The Attachment Center at Evergreen, and at The Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio, a thorough assessment is done of each child and family. Therapeutic and parenting techniques are designed around the needs of that family. These may include; reparenting, inner child work, cognitive restructuring, psychodrama, holding therapy, EMDR, sensory integration work, auditory reprocessing, offender treatment, therapeutic foster parenting, and/or a number of other methods that can be accessed to facilitate healing.

All work is done in a safe, nurturing manner and environment, by highly skilled professionals.When holding therapy is used, the therapists cradle the child in their arms, much the same way you would hold a small infant.

All of the key components of bonding are present: eye contact, smiles, touch, movement, voice. This facilitates “connection,” physically, verbally, visually and emotionally. It recreates the feeling of security that a baby experiences with a nurturing, consistent caretaker. It also initiates the reprocessing of the infant bonding cycle, which was interrupted for children with attachment disorder. It allows the child to safely release, and receive help to resolve, the emotional trauma which has prevented them from developing trust and love and the ability to experience joy in their lives.

Some people have referred to holding therapy as “rage reduction” therapy. This has been a source of much misinformation, as well. We think it is a limited description of what is accomplished during the therapeutic process. While reducing rage that a child may be feeling is a desirable and necessary outcome, not all children who have attachment issues operate out of a rage state. For those who do, the releasing process helps to clear away the rubble so they can begin to experience other feelings. Emotions that they often attempt to ignore – sadness, hurt and fear – can surface within a safe context, with safe people.

The majority of the process is spent using a variety of other interventions and strategies to facilitate healing of core issues of abandonment, grief and loss. to opening their hearts to trust and love, developing reciprocal relationships and responsible behavior.

The Attachment Center at Evergreen, Inc. has been involved in Attachment Therapy since 1972. Next year will be ACE’s 25th anniversary of helping children and families. The mission of the center is “…a commitment to transforming the lives of children with attachment disorder and their families, and promoting healthy parent/child attachments.”

ACE’s recently published book, “Give Them Roots, Then Let Them Fly,” is available by calling the office of The Attachment Center at Evergreen.

The Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio has been doing Attachment Therapy since 1990. It has an adoption sensitive focus, and strives to support the adoptive family. Maintaining adoptive families is a clear focus, as children who grow up in institutional or other non-permanent situations are consistently over-represented in both the penal system and the homeless population. ABC of Ohio also provides training and educational services to a wide array of parents and professional groups in an effort to familiarize people with the unique difficulties associated with children/adolescents experiencing attachment difficulties.

Terry M. Levy, PhD., Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Over the course of thousands of generations, evolution has imprinted in our brains and bodies automatic tendencies that guide htmlects of our behavior and social life, such as: responding to threat, danger and loss; bonding with a child and mate; creating and protecting a family. These instinctual reactions have become etched into our nervous systems because they have enabled us to adapt, to handle the recurring challenges of life, and to perpetuate our species.

Attachment between infant and caregiver is a prime example of a behavior pattern that is rooted in biology and evolution. Attachment behavior has become programmed into human beings, and is found to operate similarly in almost all cultures. The purpose and function of attachment is the same regardless of ethnic or cultural differences: to keep the baby close to the caregiver for safety and protection; to allow the child to explore and learn within a safe context (“secure base”); and to develop a loving and re-ciprocal relationship which can be passed on through generations. To fully understand healthy attachment and attachment disorder, we must consider how this biologically-based process occurs in the context of environmental stimulation, family roles, and brain chemistry.

The nuclear family evolved as the social environment best suited to provide for the needs and development of the young; that is. to foster healthy attachment. Of all mammals, the human baby requires the longest period of nurturance and protection. Instinctual attachment behaviors (clinging, following, sucking, smiling, gazing, touching) emerge within this context of prolonged helplessness and dependency. In order for attachment to occur, however, there must be stimulation from the environment. In other words, the biologically-based attachment behaviors must be activated by signs or signals from caregivers. There are many examples of this reciprocal pattern among various species. The young herring gull opens his beak wide to receive food in response to seeing the red spot on the beak of the parent gull. The duckling follows the first moving object it sees (hopefully the mother); mother is a stimulus moving at a particular rate. These stimuli are called “social releasers”, and there are similar patterns operating in human families. The baby’s smile evokes powerful feelings in the mother and father. The mother’s smile provokes feelings of comfort in the infant. Crying, mutual gazing, holding (“contact comfort”) and feeding all provoke strong responses in baby and caregivers. By understanding the interaction between maturation (instinct) and experience (environmental stimulation), we can begin to appreciate the devastating effects of abuse and neglect on the child’s attachment. The “prewired” attachment does not emerge without the necessary external (parental) ingredients.

The issues of family roles is also significant when addressing attachment. Again, let’s consider male/female roles from the perspective of biology, evolution and adaptation. Humans evolved from isolated gatherers to cooperative hunter/gatherers. Patterns emerged that led to distinctive gender roles. Males became more efficient hunters and females more focused on caring for the young. A monogamous pair, each with specialized roles and responsibilities, provided a context to enhance survival and offer maximal protection and nurturance to their offspring.This social arrangement required a sense of loyalty, deeply felt emotional attachment, and commitment to mutual goals.The women could devote time to maternal functions, trusting that they had their partner’s support. The men could leave home base secure in knowing that their mates were faithful while they were away at the hunt. In other words, male/female roles developed out of practical necessity: the need to adapt to the challenges and demands of life.

These same needs are present in today’s families: loyalty, trust, security, stability, commitment, cooperation, support. Unfortunately, there are trends operating that prevent healthy adaptation and attachment from developing. In 1995, more than 40% of American families were fatherless (up from 17% in 1960). Each year a half million babies are born to teenage girls. Over three million children were reported maltreated last year (60% increase in the last ten years). Rates of out-of-home placements, prenatal drug exposure and family violence are increasing at an alarming rate. Thus, the function of the family as an environment for safety, security, healthy social learning, and positive emotional attachment, is now questionable.

To further understand attachment, we must consider the function and chemistry of the brain. Our brain is actually composed of three parts (“triune brain”), each evolving at a different time and for a different purpose. The Reptilian Brain, or brain stem, was the first to evolve. It regulates basic life functions (digestion, breathing, reproduction, metabolism), and is responsible for primitive sexual, territorial and survival instincts. The next part of the brain to develop, the Limbic System, accompanied the arrival of the first mammals. This provided the ability to experience emotions, refined the capacity for learning and memory, and created the ability to self-heal (immune system). This part of the brain is the seat of all relationship bonds and controls attachment behavior. The Neocortex is the third and final part of the brain to evolve, and is what makes us uniquely human. It controls thinking, reasoning, creativity, and symbolic language. It enables us to observe our own emotions and (hopefully) have choices about our response.

Thus, much of our social behavior is controlled by the “old brain” (the first two parts to evolve), not by our higher intellect. The old brain governs maternal instinct, attachment behavior, self-preservation, and stress-related responses. When threat or danger is sensed, a part of the Limbic System (amygdala) triggers the release of stress hormones. Norepinephrine increases the brain’s overall reactivity, making the senses more alert. Dopamine mobilizes the body for action (“fight or flight”), increasing heart rate and blood pressure, and rivets attention on the source of the fear.

How does this relate to children and attachment_ Children with attachment disorder have often been victims of abuse, neglect and multiple separations/disruptions. Their trauma, fear, anxiety and painful emotions are lodged in the primitive portion of their brains (“old brain”). This is why traditional cognitive and behavioral therapy is not usually effective with these children. Conventional therapeutic approaches are directed towards the Neocortex, and this intellectual approach does not provide access to these children in ways that are necessary for healing and positive change. Alternative approaches that promote attachment behaviors are more useful. The holding/nurturing approach, for example, stimulates the part of the brain responsible for attachment. It is often helpful to provide social releasers (eye contact, smile, safe touch, gentle movement) in the holding/nurturing position, for the child who was deprived of healthy attachment.

In summary, attachment is instinctive, rooted in thousands of years of human evolution. Healthy attachment only emerges, however, with certain kinds of cues or signals from caregivers. Maltreatment prevents the natural development of healthy attachment, and triggers the release of stress hormones in the “old brain”. We need to understand what children and parents need both in families and in therapy to provide real healing.



Foster Cline, M.D.

Excerpts from: Reasons and Significance of Societal Mayhem and Severe Disturbances in the Population

All over America, the pathetic scene repeats itself: The five or six year old dumps out the Tinker Toys and stares at them. Clueless. He doesn’t have the slightest idea what to do with them. For Christmas, a seven year old girl is given Lincoln Logs. She is mildly curious at first. She tries briefly putting them together and then quits. “It’s too hard.” In an unfocused way, she wanders into the bedroom, turns on the TV and watches a Disney video.

Out on the front line, our schools literally reel as across America hundreds of thousands, if not millions of kids are diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. All across the land, parents seek answers to help them understand their learning disabled or attention deficit disordered children.

What is this epidemic of Attention Deficit Disorder?  How is it defined?  Briefly, the children’s thinking easily fragments. It is hard for them to focus and carry through a task. Their attention wanders. Often the children are impulsive and often they are behavior problems. It does not seem to be a problem borne solely of poor parenting, for high achieving, loving and responsive parents have children who are part of the epidemic. There is good indication that htmlects of Attention Deficit Disorder are genetic. As is the case in many learning disorders, the father or mother may have had similar problems when they were younger. But is genetics enough to account for this epidemic! No, for genetic disorders are never epidemic in nature. Purely genetic disorders tend to have stable numbers or, if severe, are self limiting. No, something other than genetics is accounting for the epidemic.

First, in attempting to understand the problem, it is important to see how the definition of Attention Deficit Disorder has changed with time. Twenty-five years ago, when I was a young psychiatrist in training at the University of Washington, Attention Deficit Disorder was seen as a true disorder of attention. That is, it was noted that the children’s attention fragmented easily and that they could not pay attention to television shows. This is no longer true. Modern authority after modern authority stresses that attention deficit disordered children can pay attention to TV and are able to play video games. As a matter of fact, far from not being able to attend television, the playing of video games or watching TV is often used in the primary grades as a reinforcer or reward for behaviorally disturbed and learning disturbed children. Video tapes are used as a teaching tool across the primary and elementary grade spectrum with increasing frequency. Far from now being primarily an attention problem, Attention Deficit Disorder could more correctly be labeled an intention disorder. That is, the children fragment when they should be intending to do something – to accomplish a goal, start or complete a project. In my experience as a child psychiatrist, it appears the majority of children labeled Attention Deficit Disorder have no problem at all if they are being entertained, playing a video game, or watching TV. The entire problem seems to revolve around getting the job done. Whether the job is putting tinkertoys together, building with Lincoln Logs, focusing on a monopoly game, or completing a school assignment.

Regardless of possible professional disagreements over symptoms, almost all professionals observers, in both the fields of education and child therapy are in unanimous agreement that there is an epidemic problem that effects the learning ability of America’s children.

Much of the societal breakdown that the United States is now experiencing is secondary to millions of infants and toddlers not being exposed to the appropriate environmental stimulation at the necessary developmental age.

The importance of the first year of life simply cannot be overemphasized. The first year lays the foundation for four essential and related human thought and personality traits: Causal thinking; Conscience; Basic Trust; The ability to delay gratification.

Upon these variables, civilization is built. If we meet a person walking the streets at night without them, we’re dead. Without them, civilization as we know it is lost!

The “normal” first year with it’s foundation of basic trust, and a “normal” second year with it’s essential elements of control, limits and rules which the child must internalize are essential for the development of a child who can focus and learn normally.

Poor experiences in the first two years explains the difficulty in learning of a large number of American children who grow up in abusive situations or with parents who are simply unable to provide discipline and have poor parenting techniques. Abuse and neglect which are accompanied by inconsistency and pain destroy the development of both causal thinking and conscience. Planful thinking is only possible if the infant lives in a consistent environment, and conscience can only develop in the presence of loving responses. Only individuals with a conscience can feel remorse, have a poor self image, feel honestly guilty, or want to mend their ways.

There are, nevertheless, a massive percentage of the children who are part of the ADD, impulse-ridden epidemic that have good parents. These are parents who did discipline the child during toddlerhood and who insure that the child developed Basic Trust during the first year. Many of these children were loving infants and responsive toddlers. It simply becomes obvious that the children have trouble learning, focusing, and thoughtfully carrying-through on tasks when they arrive in preschool and kindergarten. So what accounts for the large number of ADD children of loving parents who had adequately disciplined toddlers?

At an essential time of brain developmental readiness for task mastery, today’s three and four-year-olds, the children who Erikson characterized as being at the stage of Initiative and Industry are watching television and enjoying video tapes.

And therein lies the basic problem. In fact, reflecting the television and video game generation, most of the items for younger children in Toys-R-Us or any toy outlet reflect an emphasis on Sensory input, and rudimentary motor skills, but rarely encourage creativity, task focus, job completion and mastery. Even if they are offered for sale, tinkertoys, Legos, Lincoln logs, and alphabet blocks are not the big sellers. What sells big is the video films and video games. Game Boy, Nintendo, the Little Mermaid and Aladdin. Those are the items that make millions. And of course children are exposed to more child movies than ever before. When parents “do” something with small children now, it relatively seldom involves really “doing” anything. The parents watch TV with the children, enjoy the televised game together, go to the movies or maybe, more rarely, go to the zoo. Relatively rarely do today’s exhausted, single, dating, divorced, commuting parents actually sit down and do something with their small children.

But it is more than that! Today’s parents, who themselves grew up in front of the TV, themselves do not know how to do things with their children. Even if they knew of the importance of helping small children with focus and task completion, they, themselves, don’t know how to make a kite or tin can telephone. They don’t know how to cover chairs with masking tape, they don’t know about the corner grocery were the child sells cans of food opened from the bottom. They don’t know about sewing on buttons with their child or making paper dolls. But most importantly, they know nothing of the developmental necessity of doing something with their preschool aged child. They, themselves grew up with Big Bird and Sesame street. And now they go to movies and watch TV as a family. And when their three and four-year-old child gets bored, they, as good parents, have a library of “good” video – “Disney” video for their child to watch.

Real education is dialog!! – Real education involves a feeling of mastery, ability to respond to situations, to articulate ideas, and respond thoughtfully. Whether we talk about leadership, creativity, responsibility, or motivation we are describing action. Television encourages passive responses. Certainly it encourages absorption, and arguably understanding, but it does not, and cannot, by it’s very nature encourage doing, mastery, task completion, creativity, independent thinking – all those things associated with being a functioning and productively busy human being. Schools must by their nature focus on doing and task completion.

If kids have so little internal controls, and the parents so little discipline that such external devices must be used, the parent/child relationship is already shot. And for most normal children, they are far more affected by watching. It is the process, not the content. Particularly at the critical younger ages.

Correlation Between Bipolar Disorder and Reactive Attachment Disorder

John F. Alston, M.D.

Historically, mental health professionals have long associated Attention Deficit Disorder with Reactive Attachment Disorder. It is true that children who have been abused and/or neglected do have attentional problems secondary to their abusive circumstances or brain maturational problems. Experts have put this correlation of ADD and RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) at between 40% and 70% for either abused/neglected children and/or adopted children.

In my experience as psychiatric consultant to the Attachment Center at Evergreen since 1977, as well as within my own private practice and consultations with other attachment programs and adoption agencies in which I supervise psychotherapists who work with attachment disorders, I have come to realize that Attention Deficit Disorder is vastly overdiagnosed in this clinical population, leading to inadequate, even contraindicated treatment. I have concluded that correlations between Bipolar Disorder and Reactive Attachment Disorder are indeed much more common. This conclusion has led to different, and in my experience, much more effective medical treatment plans for these children.

I have reached the above conclusion gradually over the last several years. In the past twenty five years, since my graduation from medical school, I have diagnosed and treated approximately 3,500 cases of ADD and approximately 1,000 cases of Bipolar Disorder. Particularly in my role as a consultant to The Attachment Center at Evergreen program, it has been my professional privilege and pleasure to assess and treat children from all over the United States and at least a few foreign countries. In my experience, this miscorrelation between ADD and Reactive Attachment Disorder is international.

Regrettably, mental health professionals, parents and adoption agencies, have had poor, even misleading histories of birth parents of abused/neglected adopted children. In our attempt to understand their psychological and/or physiological predispositions to various mental illnesses, family histories of mental illness are extremely important. Abused and neglected children, as we are all aware, develop reactive attachment or bonding difficulties that lead to oppositional and defiant conduct problems.

Despite this inadequacy of data regarding birth parents, enough information has emerged so that I can say with some degree of professional certainty that, in essence, there are four diagnoses of parents who are capable of abusing or neglecting their children. One of these is considered of psychological origin, one is alcohol and substance abuse, and two are well known genetic biochemical disorders. ADD is not among them.

1) Antisocial (sociopathic) Personality Disorder.

2) Disorders of Cognitive Perception, mostly Borderline Personality Disorder and Paranoid Schizophrenia.

The etiology of Borderline Personality Disorder is not well understood, but there is evidence of both genetic and psychological influences, to some degree attributable to poor parenting (neglect or over-protection) between birth and three years of age. Borderline Personality Disorder manifests as long-term patterns of unstable mood, interpersonal relationships and self image. They commonly over-determine others’ actions or intentions and are capable of inappropriate intense anger, rage and abuse. Paranoid Schizophrenia is a complex disorder, usually strongly genetically influenced and is characterized by thought disturbances such as delusions and hallucinations. They may be apathetic or have inappropriate affect (feeling tone). They tend to function at low levels of self care and have frequent hallucinations or delusions related to circumscribed themes of distrust. They relate poorly to others and others have a difficult time getting close to them. As such, they do not frequently cohabit, form lasting relationships or have children. In a delusional or hallucinatory state they are capable of abuse or neglect, though uncommonly.

3) Alcohol or Substance Abuse.

In my experience working with abused kids, this is the single most common characteristic of abusing parents. However, in my experience, it is also most commonly a coexistent factor of abuse. In other words, while alcohol and substance abusing parents may abuse their children, it is usually of less severity and is usually not in an ongoing manner. Purely alcohol or substance abusing parents who over-indulge and neglect or abuse their children are ordinarily regretful and remorseful of their actions.

On the other hand, if alcohol or substance abusing parents also have a coexisting Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Paranoid Schizophrenia or Bipolar Disorder, the intensity of the abuse is more severe and the extent of the abuse is far more lasting. Also, given the above coexistence factors, little remorse or regret is felt, leading to a cycle of continuing abusive situations.

4) Bipolar Disorder.

This is a common psychiatric mood disorder representing 2 to 3 percent of the general population. It is a genetic, inherited, familial disorder that ultimately results in biochemicalIt is a genetic, inherited, familial disorder that ultimately results in biochemical imbalances within one’s central nervous system. It manifests in manic (or hypomanic, a lesser form of manic) and/or depressive mood disturbances. In my professional experience, this is by far the disorder that has the greatest coincidence with abuse or neglect of children and as such is the genetic disorder that these children with coexistent Reactive Attachment Disorder also inherit. The degree of self centeredness, irritability and intensity of rage reactions while in a manic state is frequently sufficient to create severe abusive conditions. Correspon-dingly, the degree of profound depression is likewise severe and prolonged enough to create long standing neglectful circumstances.

ADD parents, in my professional opinion, uncommonly, even rarely, manifest sufficient self centeredness, irritability or intensivity and frequency of rage reactions. ADD parents are reality based, generally have a high regard for their children and even if they were to uncommonly abuse their children, are in almost all sets of circumstances ordinarily filled with enough regret and remorse as to learn from their own experiences and not repeat such actions. In other words, the abuse that they might render is ordinarily of a mild transient nature and not of the severe or prolonged degrees that we experience with children with emotional attachment or bonding problems.

While there are some characteristics in common between ADD and Bipolar Disorder in children, hopefully an experienced clinician can differentiate between the two. What I have just written, however, is indeed easier said than done. Probably all experienced clinicians, myself included, have made errors in clinical judgement, confusing these two disorders.

In somewhat of an over simplified manner, most ADD children manifest inattention (difficulty with focusing or sustaining concentration) and impulsivity. Approximately 50 percent of children with Attention Deficit Disorder are hyperactive. There usually are multiple subtle differences between ADD and Bipolar Disorder so as to hopefully differentiate between the two.

While some ADD kids have difficulty getting to sleep, many Bipolar children also manifest this symptom. Their mind can race or they may have some subjective experience that their thoughts are in some way accelerated. Bipolar children can commonly have more nightmares, including “gory” nightmares, where most ADD children, once they get to sleep, are frequently able to remain asleep.

While some ADD children are capable of having temper outbursts, these outbursts usually subside within a matter of serveral minutes. Bipolar kids’ rages can be of extremely intense degrees and may be prolonged over periods of a half an hour to a few hours duration. During that time, the Bipolar Disordered kids are capable of putting out an enormous amount of energy that is difficult for even an adult, while trying, to simulate. ADD children with temper outbursts commonly manifest them as a result of some form of overstimulation or overexcitation, whereas Bipolar children most commonly react to some form of limit setting.

While ADD kids can be moody, most would not be considered so. Bipolar kids, on the other hand, commonly would be described as both moody and exhibiting tendencies toward mood swings. These mood swings can have a great deal of dysphoria (a mood of general dissatisfaction) as well as oversensitivity and irritability leading to the above mentioned rage reactions.

Motivational factors also tend to differ between ADD and Bipolar children. ADD kids are truly inattentive and lack the capacity to sustain concentration. They tend to remain motivated and willing to please, though their follow through and resultant productivity can be poor. Bipolar childrens’ concentration depends much more on motivation and frequently manifests a similar but different symptom known as distractibility.

Bipolar children are much more “intense” by nature, whereas ADD kids are much more “laid back.” Bipolar kids can accomplish a great deal within a relatively short period of time. At times, they may appear especially motivated, enthused and interested in certain activities, and at other times their productivity will be practically nonexistent as they show almost no motivation, interests or enthusiasm, even for things they have historically enjoyed doing.

Bipolar children may even show certain giftedness or creativity, particularly along verbally articulate lines, whereas ADD kids usually are less inclined to the above characteristics. ADD kids “see the forest and not the trees”, i.e., getting a general feel for the “vibes” of a situation, while misunderstanding detail. Bipolar children, on the other hand, “see the trees and not the forest,” sometimes obsessing on detail, while missing the global picture. The misbehavior of ADD kids is often accidental, due to inattentiveness or obliviousness of circumstances. Bipolar children tend to be much more destructive. Bipolar children look as if their destructiveness has far more innate thoughtfulness, consciousness, deliberateness and purposefulness.

ADD tends to be chronic and continual, but tends toward gradual improvement with age and experience. While there may be no clear episodic or cyclic patterns within Bipolar children, their behavior tends to worsen over the years.

Obviously, all of the above attempt at differentiating between symptoms of ADD and Bipolar Disorder is made enormously more complex by the coexistent element of bonding and attachment disturbances. A further complicating factor is that stimulant medications may help specific symptoms of inattention and distractibility within Bipolar children, while they may also make tendencies toward irritability and rage reactions worse, particularly over extended periods of time. Mood stabilizing medications (Lithium, Valproic acid and Carbamazipine) tend to produce at least moderate improvement within Bipolar children, but tend to have minimal effect on ADD children.

Over the last few years, several books have been authored concerning ADD, but, to my knowledge, no such books exist regarding Bipolar Disorder, particularly in children. Many of these authors and experts have emphasized sleep problems, motivational problems, irritability, oppositional/defiant behavior, including rage reactions, as occurring fairly often within ADD. In my experience, all of these above symptoms are vastly overrated in most ADD children and underemphasized, both to the general population and to the mental health community in Bipolar Disorder.

In my strong professional opinion, all of the above symptom complex, particularly in children with coexistent histories of abuse, neglect and emotional bonding problems with corresponding oppositional and defiant behavior, should be considered to be of Bipolar etiology, not Attention Deficit Disorder, unless the previous ADD diagnosis and treatment has produced moderate to substantial benefits.