Sometimes when a couple breaks up it can be confusing for any children who get stuck in the middle. Depending on their age, they might not fully understand what your divorce means for them and the family they’re used to. And once they’ve gotten accustomed to living with one parent, or switching back and forth, someone gets married and it becomes complicated again.
You can ease this transition by making sure you have open communication with your children and that you’re answering any questions that are asked, as well has spending enough time with them.
When you first approach your child, be very open with him. Let him know that you’re planning to marry someone new, and be prepared for questions. Answer them as plainly and as honestly as you can, making sure to explain whatever parts he asks you to. He might be afraid you no longer love him or will be mad at him if he asks the wrong questions, so try not to act nervous when you talk to him because you might send the wrong signal. Let him know how much you love him, and that having a new person in your life will never take your love away from him.
Remind her that this is not a substitute for her other parent. Just because your previous marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean that the next person you marry is going to replace her other parent. Instead, it’s like she’s getting even more parents, which means she’ll have even more people who love her and care about her. Remind her that your ex still loves her very much, but circumstances are different now. Let her know that it’s not that her family is changing, so much as it’s growing. And having another parent means she’ll have two new grandparents and who knows how many new aunts and uncles, all of whom are very eager to meet her.