Why Does Attachment Disorder Occur? How To Prevent It?

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Change is the only thing that is constant in this world. Yet, we always like to focus on preventing change. We try to believe that some things in our life will never change. Our attachment to our parents and their care and concern for us happens to be one such thing.

We often underestimate the extent to which they rely upon this bond. Our bond with our family and our confidence that this care and affection will remain unchanged helps us progress in life. No matter how many problems we face, we take solace in the fact that they this is one bond that will always be present.

In such a scenario, it is not surprising that a child who has faced severe problems in forming attachment with family members and adults will face problems in the future as well. Attachment disorders have been noted in those kids who interact with individuals and get to spend at least six month with them but are separated from them before spending three years.

If this pattern is repeated with different individuals and caregivers, the child will automatically find it difficult to form attachment. Of course, the issue is not as simple as described above. However, absence of an attachment and social interaction at a very young age causes significant impact on the ability of the individual to form relationships in the future.

Needless to say, the responsibility of ensuring that the child does not suffer from attachment disorders belongs to parents and caregivers. One does not have to be a parent to form attachment.

Even the status of a relative is good enough as long as one is sincere towards the relationship. All it takes is one strong relationship with the child to send the message across that creating and forming attachments and new relationships is worth the effort it requires. This can make a huge difference to the future of the child.

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Why Parents Need Adequate Parenting Advice And Tips For Raising Children

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There are parents who are experienced because they have already grown up children. These people will advice the younger generation, who have just become parents on the methods of taking care of the young child. Many of the young parents think that they know everything and do not take the advice of the older people seriously. This can lead to very severe problems in bringing up the child because parenting advice and tips for raising children is very important for every parent.

There are a lot of aspects to bringing up a child. There are many children who understand the weaknesses of the parents a lot more than their spouses do. This weakness is taken advantage of, by the child. Many parents seem to be losing the battle with their children because the kids are ahead of them in every step of a shouting match. The best method that the parent can use in bringing up the child is to make sure that the child is disciplined from a very young age.

One important parenting advice and tip for raising children is that the parent should try not to shout at the child. The parents should be kind at the same time very firm with their children. It is good to be friendly with the child, but the child should know who has the authority in the family. The reason is that in this world where there is survival of the fittest, the child learns to be best in everything from a very young age. This should be appreciated, but the growth should be under the control of the parents, otherwise the child will become difficult to handle as he or she grows and finally the child will only suffer because of not listening to the parents on some very important matters.

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Parenting Tips and tricks

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There are many parents who seem lost when they are taking care of their children. There are many of them who do not know how to take care of the child. They are usually the first time parents who have their first child. The child seems to be taking them for a ride. These are the parents who need a lot of parenting advice and tips for raining children.

There are certain methods that they have to use to make sure that the child listens to what is being said to them. Though it is not good to spank the child too much as it can leave a lasting impression in the child, spanking can be reserved as a punishment for something that the child should never do.

The best method of punishing and disciplining a child is to give them time outs. This is the time when the child is made to sit in a corner of the room and is not allowed to talk or do anything, but face the wall and sit for a specific period of time. This is one of the best methods that will work in disciplining the children whom you raise.

The other method that can be used in punishing and disciplining the child is to give the child less time watching television if the child behaves badly. Usually kids watch television for a specific period of time. This time can be reduced or the favorite cartoon program can be cut for the child on the day when the child behaves badly. This is another simple method of disciplining the child which will be very effective. These are simple methods that will prevent physically hurting the child and at the same time will help to discipline the child effectively and adequately by the parents.

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The Importance of Nurturing Activities to Treat Attachment Disorder

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Attachment disorder occurs in children who are believed to have not completed the bonding process of growing up. For one reason or another their brains read that when a parent leaves they are leaving for good and instead of reacting in a way that a normal child who has completed this cycle would they end up becoming attached the parent.

Many times attachment disorder can be so intrusive on daily living that parents are forced to seek therapeutic measures to treat this disorder. One of the most important and widely used therapy session is that of the nurturing activities between parent and child.

Therapists encourage parents and children to engage in nurturing activities that will essentially bring back the child to childhood. When they go back to childhood they are essentially trying to reform that bond that did not fully develop in childhood. Although many parents will try to treat attachment disorder in a child between the ages of 6 to 9, this type of therapy can be encouraged in children as old as 15 and 16.

These therapy sessions encourage parents to engage in activities that a child of ages 1 to 2 would normally engage in. This can include reading bedtime stories together at night, singing songs together, playing make believe or even just play interacting. The reason behind engaging in these activities is because many therapists believe that it can take the child back and reform that bond.

It is believed that the older the child the longer the therapy sessions will have to last because of the long amount of time that the attachment disorder is left in the child. They become accustomed to it and it becomes a part of their lives. Because of this reason, parents are encouraged to try and treat attachment disorders as soon as they notice them no matter what the age of the child.

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General parenting advice

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Are you the one who is willing to make your family into a successful family? If yes, then there are some things that you need to know and understand before setting out to do just that. If you are a parent looking for perfection, then you could relax a little. There is no thing is as perfection in parenting. Everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. So do parents.

Command respect from your children, don’t demand it. As a parent, you need to exercise a certain degree of authority. Even if that meant you are being scorned at by your children. If you lose your authority over your children, then you lose control over them. The best years to exercise control over your children would be when they are young. When you try to start exercising control over them when they are teenagers, it might be too late.

Always serve generous offerings of love and trust to your children. Make them know that you love them. In this way they will not resist your authority as a parent, but respect it. They would know that you are doing such things because you love them. If you are a parent who does not care for your children, and still exercise you authority, you could be in the eye of future revolt from your children.

Spend plenty of time with your children. Get them to know you well. Don’t be a stranger to your own children. Take your children for a hike on weekends. Bicycle with them. Drive them to Sunday school. Go for morning jogs with them. Play their games. Have fun with them. Be their friend.

Give your children the power to make decisions. Make them choose wisely. Counsel them on the art of discretion. Whenever you take them out, make them take the lead. Develop leadership qualities in them. When your children grow up, they will respect you for all these efforts that you put on them.

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Parenting tips for the single parent

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The first step for a single parent would be to get someone to be their partner. They can potentially hook up with another single parent at PTA meetings or sports events or anywhere. In this way, a single parent can feel more relaxed and hopeful about a non-lonely future. After all hope is the last one to die. And what is life without love and romance. Single parents don’t have to necessarily be single all the time. By finding them a good partner, they can ease their tensions towards themselves and their kids.

If you are looking for a partner, let your child know about it. Don’t bring partners home just like that. Remember that your actions will inspire the same in your child as well. After sometime even your child might start bringing partners home without your consent. And the blame could be squarely laid on you, since you were the one who started this precedent. By talking to your kid about your boyfriends or girlfriends, your child will trust you more, and respect your actions.

If you have found another partner, get this person to familiarize with the kid. Doing this will greatly reduce any awkwardness that might exist between the kid and the new person. You can even plan for an outing with your kid and your new partner. Your kid will start to develop a liking for your partner. The more you and your new partner spend time with your kid, the better. Your kid will feel more secure in the new person’s company as much as the kid feels so in your company.

When you are ready to move in with your new partner, let your kid know well in advance. Don’t let it be a surprise to your kid. Kids don’t like to be surprised with such things. They might develop wrong perceptions about love and relationships. You have to let your kid know about your actions well in advance.

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Avoiding the Creation of Attachment Disorder

There may be as many ways to treat an attachment disorder as any other cognitive misbehavior, but one of the simplest methods to handle this issue begins during a child’s infancy. Quite simply, don’t let your baby spend large amounts of time on its own, away from your nurturing care. It is during periods of time spent alone and feeling a lack of nurturing that the seeds of attachment disorders are planted. Simply put, from about the age of six months until three years, the young are susceptible to feelings of abandonment such as at no other time in their lives. The more that parents are able to foster extra care, attention, and love onto their child at this fragile age, the more likely an attachment disorder will not form.

However, there are obstacles, as in every life situation. Sometimes a child comes down with an illness or infection which requires a lengthy hospital stay. Even the most well-intentioned parent cannot visit at a hospital for very many hours of the day, as hospital visiting hours just don’t allow it. Although there is likely to be plenty of doctor and nurse interaction, the infant recognizes that they are strangers, and not the usual faces. It may seem like a conundrum – obviously the infant needs hospital care – but it can come at a cost. Being aware of the attachment issue prior to any scenario raising its head is the best strategy.

Short of valid reasons for an infant to be separated from its parents, it is essential to future mental health that a child receive much attention from both parents during its formative years. Children are sensitive to lopsided affection, in which one parent appears to give more affection and care than the other, so it’s vital that both parents exhibit effort. By taking the time to dote on their children, most parents will be able to avoid any sort of attachment disorder from occurring.

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Tackling Attachment Disorder In Your Adopted Child Some Tips

Are you planning to adopt a child from an orphanage? If yes, then you need to know more about attachment disorders. Have you heard of the story of the jackal that tried to eat the grapes and concluded that the grapes were sour when it could not succeed? That is exactly how human beings work too.

If you desire something and fail to get it, you try to console yourself by saying that it was not worth having anyways. The next time you get a chance to enjoy the same thing, you will simply reject it due to the past pain. That is how attachment works.

Children seek attachment when they are young. If they do not get it, they find ways to reconcile themselves to the situation. They simply conclude that having attachment is not essential. If you have adopted a child from an orphanage, it is obvious that you will be taking the child from an attention deficient environment to an environment where you are ready to cater to each and every requirement of the child.

In such a scenario, to find that the child is not interested in your care can be very painful. Instead of presuming that the child is ungrateful, you should understand that the child is simply hiding from its past demons. It is not prepared to form attachment with you because it fears that you too shall abandon it. Considering the past experiences of the child, its fears are justified. What steps should you take to overcome this problem?

Well, it is obvious that you will have to be very patient. Secondly, you will have to take specific steps to solve the problem. Just showering the child with lots of attention is not going to work.

You may need counseling for not just the child but yourself and all your family members. You will need support of your spouse and the siblings of the child.

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What is Attachment Disorder?

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Attachment disorders, also called Reactive Attachment Disorder, is the result of a negative experience a child may have had when they were younger. This can include abuse, neglect or even abandonment. Children that have suffered through any of those will begin to learn and believe early on that they can’t depend on anyone for anything.

A child that has been unable to connect with a parent or primary caregiver can often suffer from an attachment disorder. There are many factors that can cause this such as: not picking a child up when it has been crying, a baby that hasn’t been fed or changed in hours, no communication or attention given to the baby, or even a child that has been moved around constantly through foster homes or adoption. The child never has a chance to bond with anyone, and may therefore suffer from this condition.

Symptoms of an attachment disorder in a child can include things like: not making eye contact, not talking or smiling, constantly crying, doesn’t make typical baby cooing sounds and even not interested in playing with toys or interacting with others.

If you have a child that is showing any of these symptoms, you need to work with the child to make them healthy and loving again. Always stay positive around your child; they can easily pick up on negative feelings. Try joking around or playing with him/her. You may find that this makes your bond a little stronger. Make sure you always have patience with your child. It may take him/her a long time to start trusting and bonding with you, and if you show patience with them, it can make the process go faster.

Use support from your friends and family to get through these hard times. Ask for help if you need it, and consider joining a support group so that you can meet other parents going through the same thing as you.

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Various Available Treatments for Attachment Disorders

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Attachment disorders are behavioral disorders that develop in children during the first of two years of growth. They develop as a result of negative experiences during child’s early relationships. Psychologists argue that children who feel insecure, isolated or abandoned eventually learn that they cannot rely on others and view the world as a dangerous place. They exhibit physical and psychological distancing from adults, uncontrollable anger and poor impulse control.

Research has shown that children who suffer from reactive attachment disorders are likely to experience difficulties in forming healthy loving and lasting intimate relationships in their future life because they lack meaningful skills to do so. This leads to lack of trust, low self esteem and desire to be in control.
Attachment disorders can be repaired by building the child’s sense of security. This is important because the sole cause of attachment disorders is lack of trust and feelings of insecurity. Creating a sense of security therefore makes it easy for the child to accept love and support.

Setting consistent limits and loving boundaries for children with attachment disorders makes their world less scaring and gives them power to be in control over their lives. When such children understand what is expected of them, what is acceptable and what is not acceptable as well as the consequences of disobeying, they positively take charge over their lives and become less rebellious, knowing that they are in control.

Psychologists advice people living with children who suffer from attachment disorders to create secure infant attachment by always remaining calm when the child is upset. This is because the child has limited skills to handle his/her feelings and needs help. Staying calm therefore teaches the child that the feelings of anger can be managed.

Other alternatives for repairing attachment disorders include, being always available to resolve any conflicts, owning up mistakes, reconciling, listening, talking and playing with your child.

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